It's an incredibly complicated emotion. It's an interesting word as well because of how we use it. It seems that the context can vary immensely, from exclaiming how much you love Fritos, to telling a lover your feeling, to revealing it to a friend. Some of those are considered completely normal, others are more special. Love can both create something between people, or utterly destroy it in one swing. Other emotions are easier to pin as positive or negative, but not love.
Love can take on many forms. The idea that it can take different forms, change, or even fade is a very real thing, though doesn't really seem to register in our collective consciousness. Love is forever! Love is watching movies together! Love is BOTH of us enjoying sushi! Books, television, and film all try to tell us that "love is exactly this specific set of circumstances and must present itself in these specific ways" and deviating from the norm makes you strange. Gender expectations, slut-shaming, and fear cause way more issues than necessary.
If you love something, you let it go. This sounds silly at first, but if you really love someone, then you wish to see the best for them. And sometimes, the best for them could mean having to turn away. Of course, this is not an always thing. But if you are in a situation where you actively believe you are restraining someone you love from being the best they can be, you need to start questioning whether you really love them. Loving them means you are concerned for their happiness, and that it is your primary goal. Guess what? Their happiness might totally not involve you. Seek inner calm when you consider this, and be less focused on what you want, while emphasizing what they need.
It is OK to love several people. I do. Each of them fulfill a deep part in Me, and make Me happy. I'd like to think I bring some form of fulfillment in some part of their lives as well. But to expect a single individual to fill all of My emptiness, and keep all of the pieces together... it is impossible. To seek just one person to mirror and complement all aspects is not only an undoable task, but it seems that knowing that person would be quite boring (and frankly, very irritating). Say a lover or close friend enjoys nights at the ballet and raw oysters, and you are turned green by the very mention of either of those things. That's OK, I promise. If you love them, you should encourage them to be themselves. Love has compromises, yes, but it is not about giving up your identity to another. If you do that, chances are that other person doesn't love you very much. Solve this by allowing yourself to love others.*
Love is immeasurable. If I asked you to accurately rate on a quantifiable scale the levels of a certain emotion throughout your life... you probably couldn't. Were you sadder when your parents died last year, or when you lost your favorite toy when you were five? How do you rate it? Is it by how important it is? How long you felt it for? Both of those criteria would probably give opposing answers for the example I just gave. Love cannot be compared or weighed. It's not about loving "more" or "less." It's about filling the gaps in each other.
In other news, it's snowing.
* NOTE: I am not condoning cheating or any deceptive behavior. I am talking about the ability to have close friends and confidantes, even if those are not in your relationship. You are allowed to feel and care for others. Deceiving one's partner, however, is wrong. Obviously, I am not talking about poly arrangements (which, by the way, also have rules).
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