Happy Holidays!

I'd like to quickly note that I'm centrally mentioning Christmas in this post, but mostly from an outsider's view. I know not everyone reading celebrates this holiday, but I'm talking here about the general atmosphere of Christmas. It's for everyone. Personally, following a neutral, somewhat agnostic, pre-Christian belief system, I'm just an observer looking and commenting. When Hannukah starts getting out of control and changes its own history to market more stuff, I'll be sure to mention it.

May Krampus tear your eyes out, shove you in his bag, and take you back to his cave.

I am not a Christmas person whatsoever. I observe a light Sun ritual for Yule (December 21st-22nd), but the actual idea of Christmas is absolutely revolting to Me. Personally, I would never let My child sit in a stranger's lap. Much less if that stranger is an older, single gentleman who spends his time laughing and promising gifts to children. It seems a bit rapey to Me.

Our modern idea of Santa Claus was more or less created in the early to mid nineteenth century. Of course, there are origins that date back to Saint Nicholas or Sinterklaas as well as the English Father Christmas, but the whole... image and idea we currently hold canon dates to a couple of poems, Old Santeclause and The Night Before Christmas, published and  1821 and 1823, respectively. With additional lore and imagery through the years, by the time Coca-Cola started using his image for marketing in the 1930's, the "Santa story" was pretty much fully developed. The practice of "department store Santas" had been started some forty years earlier.

It seems interesting that Santa as a staple of children's imagination has spread to places who already had their own gift-giving folklore. Santa is a somewhat accepted image even in My own home country, Spain. However, in Spain, the gift-givers are the three kings (or the three Biblical Magi: Melchior, Caspar, and Balthazar), and they arrive on January 6th. Still, a good amount of the Spanish people I know celebrate motherfuckin' Christmas, without this whole Three Wise Men thing. Honestly, getting to Jesus some 12 days after his birth... seems like a gamble. I mean, Mary and Joseph really stayed in a stable for a whole two weeks after "their" child was born? And if the kid was in a manger the whole time... well that's a whole bunch of animals that don't have a place to eat from. I digress.

It also seems that Santa is very associated with gifts these days, as opposed to Christmas. The whole "good cheer" aspect of it is pretty lost with all the gift giving. The Family Guy episode Road to the North Pole completely encapsulates how I feel about Santa. Be sure to close the advertisement on top of the actual video, it's gonna try to trick ya. You're welcome.

However, it seems I only have to go back a couple of centuries to find a bunch of disturbing accompanying characters to the original Saint Nicholas. Zwarte Piet and Krampus, two of the more popular figures of this season, are mostly prevalent in Germanic and Alpine Europe, and accompanied St. Nicholas. One's a mischievous black guy, the other one's a demon who takes bad children away (and potentially beats them). I like these two. They add a little fun and a little consequence to the holidays. Face it, no matter how bad you were, did Santa ever really bring you just coal? No. But I liked the idea that a scary demon lord from the Abyss could come take you away if you misbehaved. It seems a bit more... I don't know... with consequence.

I never really did the "Santa thing." As a child, I kinda figured it out by Myself by the time I was six or seven, and catching My parents wrapping gifts shortly after pretty much confirmed My suspicions. Nobody told Me. I was just like... "er... no. Something doesn't work here."

Don't get Me wrong, I FUCKING LOVE PRESENTS. But I like to take a little time at Christmas to appreciate the things I already have. I don't do the Thanksgiving thing much (as I mentioned in My Thanksgiving post), so I usually take Christmas as quiet personal time to reflect and be thankful. It's just more My wave. Thanksgiving's just an excuse to eat and say you're thankful, so people don't look at you weird. But what I wrote then, I honestly feel more now.

So take a moment today, if you have time, and reflect on all that you have, and the people around you whom you love. This holiday was based off a time for warmth and togetherness, during the longest night of the year. So stay close to the fire. :-)

Happy holidays to all who celebrate them. If you're not celebrating anything specifically today, I guess it's just Tuesday for you, so have a good Tuesday.

Fuck you, fish boy!

No, this is not My Christmas post yet. But it was awesome and I wanted to share. This was in response to one of My ads, not in any type of chat. Too good.

---

Him: Hey

Me: Congratulations. Three letters. Quite an achievement when I asked for a detailed introductory message. Would you like to try again?

Him: my fetish is feet send me a pic of yours

Me: I don't give a flying fuck what your fetish is unless you can come up with a respectful introduction, something I asked for.
I have size 12 feet, and pics are available online if one knows where to look. I don't have to send you anything or do anything if I don't feel like it, especially if I find you to be rude, which I do. Again, try being polite, something I ask for in My ad, and you'll find Me much more accommodating.
Regards,
-Sir Brian

Him: fuck you, fish boy

---

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I have no idea what just happened there.

The Holidays are Nigh!

I've been busy these past days preparing for the holidays. I really haven't had time to post up My shenanigans in or out of sessions, because I frankly have no time. Christmas is a busy time!

I originally had a hot corporate roleplay for this afternoon. One of My company employees, G---, is up for an evaluation this week, so I told him to drop by My home, and we could discuss his progress in the company. Little does that little fag know that the IT crew did a sweep of all company computers, and has found a lot of very interesting things he's been sending from his workstation while he's been supposedly working. He thought he was coming for a promotion, but I know what the little queer is really after... let's see how much he really wants to keep his job! Hah!

Well that was the original plan, at least. However, it seems he has personal home matters to attend to (perhaps his wife found out about his filthy homo habits?), so we've rescheduled the evaluation. Unfortunately, I had originally cleared My day for it, but now I find Myself with some rare free time, so I figure I'd update around the interwebs.

Tomorrow, I'll be photographer for a kinky Christmas shoot with friends. It's going to be epic, with lots of ribbon and lights! Depending what we all decide, you may even get to see a few select shots here! We will see.

I haven't been making it out to a lot of places besides the Aviary: as I said, I've been very busy with My own things. Which means that awesomeness is afoot.

I'll be writing a full note about it, but I figure this is a good place to first announce. Starting now, I am looking for video-subs and video-slaves for 2013! Want more session time than you can shake your little dick at? Then ask Me about performing in My fetish videos, and I'm sure we can come up with an arrangement... step into My quarters, and you won't want to step out...

That's it for now. Oh, on a final sidenote, the holidays are nearing! So what best way to show you appreciate Me than by sending Me a little token of your desire? And who knows, if you're the lucky boy or girl to bring Me this pair of shock collars, I may have to pay some special attention to you...

Rage

NOTE: I am suffering from extreme Top drop after a very intense scene last night, so please take this with a grain of salt. I've been displeased for some days, and quite frankly have been stewing with these thoughts.

Honestly, I'll not be getting to that article I was going to write. I don't care to.

I was just betrayed by someone I considered a good friend. One of My best, in fact. Because I have to be in a semi-work environment with her already, I am unhappy.

I pride Myself in not talking shit about people. If I have a problem with you, I'll tell you before I tell others (yes, I still will probably tell others, but I'll always let you know first that I don't like you). I behave with such cold and calculating logic, and it's always served Me well.

The reason I do this is because I have an incredible hate for sophomoric behavior. I did not like high school then, and I do not like high school now. When people around Me start behaving like they are in high school, I am so completely disgusted that I actually get physically ill.

I am sick of busting My ass and being unappreciated (haha, look at Me blogging about My issues like a high-schooler, IRONY!). Over the past year back in Philadelphia from London, I have met a ridiculous amount of people.

Quite frankly, I don't like most of you. Not all of you, but a good bit of you.

I feel constantly that I am surrounded by a whole bunch of needy children, who really do not give a fuck about My well-being either way, as long as they can get what they want from Me. From leads which I bust My ass getting, to personal friends who are only interested in My opinion or thoughts when they can get a play-date out of Me, to colorful weekly hate mail (mind you, I only post the stellar ones here). I'm constantly running around and doing things, and as fabulous as My life seems, I bust My ass. For nothing.

A call from a recent friend made it clear: I'm trying to be in too many places at once, with too many people who need Me. I need to revise who I consider My friends, and who I consider useless in My life.

I'm sick of having to "play the game." I'm sick of having to smile through gritted teeth at community leaders who have sexually abused some of My friends. I'm sick of boys who are so sexually frustrated that they don't see Me as anything else but a piece of meat, and of girls who think I'm going to whisk them away from their humdrum vanilla lives like some Disney prince.

Respect. It's not that complicated. I ask for respect for My time and respect for My person. It's one of My Ten Commandments. It shouldn't be so difficult. But of course, people are too concerned about themselves these days. Can't be bothered to utter a single politeness.

I've already cut several public events and parties out of My schedule. It used to be that I would show up because I wanted to relax and hang with friends. Nowadays, a lot of these events are Me running like a chicken without it's head, making plans and play dates, and trying to please everyone. At the end of the night, I have no actual fun, and whatever I've done doesn't guarantee a visitor to My dungeon. Yet like an idiot, I return, to keep this completely fictional idea of an "image" up.

I first got involved in fetish in BDSM because it all seemed so revolutionary and life-giving to Me. Imagine! Surrounded by people who were unashamed of their desires, and open about them. A world where the limits could be set where I wanted them to be set, where each play date was a complex neurochemical exchange that could only be called "magical."

No-one told Me that it was also a community of backstabbing gossip queens. "Did you hear what so-and-so did at such-and-such?" No-one told Me there were people that were "preferred" or whose opinions "mattered more" because of their position. Hell, I always thought people should be judged on their own merits, not by their ridiculous accomplishments or social circles. How incredibly silly of Me.

I play by the book. When it comes to actual BDSM interactions, I use basic science and research to back Myself up so I don't fuck up, or fuck My partners up. Sure, it's not always perfect and failsafe, but I try. I'm still just human. I try to always help out newcomers and as long as the basic rules of interaction that I set are followed, will go quite far for them. I've never been accused of consent violations (though I have been accused of "assholism" once or twice). I try to defend those that show promise, and deflect those that would damage others.

It seems like all of this would be enough. Not in the scene. Here, it's all about "oh, well who do you know? How long have you been doing this?" Newsflash, folks: this used to be a way for kinksters to be able to vet one another and keep each other safe. This wasn't a social model to follow. Because I can name players who have been in the local scene for over 25 years who have had major consent violations, bordering on sexual assault. Actually, wait, no... when you stick something of yours into someone's holes after they said "no," that's not bordering on anything. That's rape. So I know a rapist or five.

Expose them? I tried. Results? "Oh no! I know so-and-so! He could have never done that, because I played with him once at a public party five years ago! Oh, and he wrote all these books/articles/Writings! You must be mistaken. It's OK. You're more of a newcomer, you don't know better."

Really? How long you've been doing this is completely irrelevant if you started off with erroneous knowledge. Being a 25-year veteran of the flogger means nothing if you take advantage of your submissives' gifts.

To return to what the "issue" I recently went through was, apparently, a very good friend of mine has had a poison whispering to her, and has accused Me of that exact behavior. The exchange. paraphrased, went like this:

Me: Something happened. I'm telling you because I want you to be safe.
Her: Oh, who pissed in who's cereal now?
Me: Like I'd give a shit. It's not about a feud, it's about abuse of power.
Her: Of course it is. You need to stop talking shit, because one of my friends who's really high up in the scene said you were saying things about me. So watch who you talk to, I don't need two-faced backstabbers in my life.
Me: Buh?

I still have no idea what exactly I supposedly said, and have not been given a chance to confront My accuser. I will gladly admit to any wrongdoing and any shit-talking, as I do have a big mouth, but I can't for the life of Me even think of what I could have said. I never take parts in feuds. I never have, and I never will. I will listen to both sides of the argument, and advise if it is needed, but I am a God-damned beacon of neutrality. For fuck's sake, I have recommended clients to My competition, at times. I am glad, however, that My friend decided to listen to someone else's opinion of Me, instead of confronting Me directly with an accusation. But I guess it's OK. They're "high up in the scene." Am I the only one who sees how amazingly retarded that statement is?

(If you have a problem with the fact that I used the expression "retarded," grow up. Social standing isn't determined by how politically correct I can be either)

I just needed a bit of space to vent. Currently, I am being much stricter and more reserved on FetLife, as well as with the conversations I choose to partake in, online and in real-life. I am limiting My play to the dungeon, and only to My closest partners. Those who wish to find Me can do so relatively with ease. But I'm no longer putting out the effort. You fucked it up for yourselves.

An interesting sidenote, while discussing things with kinksters I've known around the globe, this problem of catty, gossipy behavior and backstabbing is not spread scene-wide. It seems to have a particular penchant for some scenes, Philadelphia being one of them. I defended this place back when someone from the West Coast said that we were a joke big enough that even other cities had noticed.

I'm starting to agree with them.