Thoughts on Love

It's an incredibly complicated emotion. It's an interesting word as well because of how we use it. It seems that the context can vary immensely, from exclaiming how much you love Fritos, to telling a lover your feeling, to revealing it to a friend. Some of those are considered completely normal, others are more special. Love can both create something between people, or utterly destroy it in one swing. Other emotions are easier to pin as positive or negative, but not love.

Love can take on many forms. The idea that it can take different forms, change, or even fade is a very real thing, though doesn't really seem to register in our collective consciousness. Love is forever! Love is watching movies together! Love is BOTH of us enjoying sushi! Books, television, and film all try to tell us that "love is exactly this specific set of circumstances and must present itself in these specific ways" and deviating from the norm makes you strange. Gender expectations, slut-shaming, and fear cause way more issues than necessary.

If you love something, you let it go. This sounds silly at first, but if you really love someone, then you wish to see the best for them. And sometimes, the best for them could mean having to turn away. Of course, this is not an always thing. But if you are in a situation where you actively believe you are restraining someone you love from being the best they can be, you need to start questioning whether you really love them. Loving them means you are concerned for their happiness, and that it is your primary goal. Guess what? Their happiness might totally not involve you. Seek inner calm when you consider this, and be less focused on what you want, while emphasizing what they need.

It is OK to love several people. I do. Each of them fulfill a deep part in Me, and make Me happy. I'd like to think I bring some form of fulfillment in some part of their lives as well. But to expect a single individual to fill all of My emptiness, and keep all of the pieces together... it is impossible. To seek just one person to mirror and complement all aspects is not only an undoable task, but it seems that knowing that person would be quite boring (and frankly, very irritating). Say a lover or close friend enjoys nights at the ballet and raw oysters, and you are turned green by the very mention of either of those things. That's OK, I promise. If you love them, you should encourage them to be themselves. Love has compromises, yes, but it is not about giving up your identity to another. If you do that, chances are that other person doesn't love you very much. Solve this by allowing yourself to love others.*

Love is immeasurable. If I asked you to accurately rate on a quantifiable scale the levels of a certain emotion throughout your life... you probably couldn't. Were you sadder when your parents died last year, or when you lost your favorite toy when you were five? How do you rate it? Is it by how important it is? How long you felt it for? Both of those criteria would probably give opposing answers for the example I just gave. Love cannot be compared or weighed. It's not about loving "more" or "less." It's about filling the gaps in each other.

In other news, it's snowing.

* NOTE: I am not condoning cheating or any deceptive behavior. I am talking about the ability to have close friends and confidantes, even if those are not in your relationship. You are allowed to feel and care for others. Deceiving one's partner, however, is wrong. Obviously, I am not talking about poly arrangements (which, by the way, also have rules).

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope you had a pleasant Thanksgiving weekend. Although I do not personally celebrate the holiday (I'm not a fan of genocide and shopping), the idea's not a bad one.

I am thankful to be alive. Really. The past year has been an insane ride, and I'm kinda surprised to see Myself come out the other end surprisingly undamaged. I am thankful to have met so many amazing and wonderful people. From the people I have met through the dungeons, to those from the events I have attended this year, even to those who I sometimes just engage in brief conversations with online. I am thankful for the experiences that life has given Me. Each and everyone of them serves to help Me grow as a human being, so be they good or bad, they are all precious. I am thankful for the happiness of others. That one is a difficult one, but I think I can finally say it. Regardless of their path, I am happy for other individuals if they are happy. But most of all, I am thankful to be alive.

I chose to keep this short as opposed to sit there and congratulate Myself what I feel is a blessed life, when so many other people are alone, oppressed, or starving. When you are thankful, it's something that happens everyday. It is not a once a year feast to celebrate while loudly expressing what is often fake gratitudes around a table. And of course, the day after that, we all run out to get the best deal on all the things we don't have.

So that's it, then. What are you thankful for?

Diabolique 2013

Short update...

Just wanted to thank everyone who made Diabolique Ball 2013 a great success this year. The grindhouse horror theme saw a lot of wonderful costumes coming, and much money was raised!

I ended up going alone, bringing less toys than usual, and leaving a bit early. But it was a wonderful time regardless, with the Ladies of Destiny's Chamber running a spanking booth, guests from all over the world, and a poledancer dressed as the Predator (just because).

Can't wait for next year!

Now I want a cookie and a foot massage.

Looking to Serve?

I've had a wondrous week of fun, mostly finishing up the backups on My computer and basking in birthday-ness. I have a whole bunch of new evil toys, many currently in transit from their respective locations, including a penis water gun, a Hitachi, and a blowgun (from the lovely folk at Asylum 13!)... They will be making their appearances soon! Responding to a couple of inquiries, I have also reorganized My Wishlist and split it into four, with My "main" one being toys and tools for play. The others are for clothes, books, and random things I desire. See? I make things easy.

I have completely forgot to mention that I am attending Diabolique Ball this Saturday. I wasn't sure until a week or so ago, but what can I say, I gotbusy. As a result, I am finding Myself going alone, as boy K will be vising family over the weekend and Katts and Kiddo have other plans. I am not terribly happy about this, but life must come first.

So I am looking for a young, attractive, male service sub, who would like to keep Me company and serve Me during the evening. Duties will include carrying My bags, drink service, conversation, and possible furniture service. You may accompany Me or choose to roam around during My DM shift. Playing with you is a not an obligation, and though I may, do not expect it. The submissive I choose will have a sizable discount, making this a good chance for anyone interested in attending, and anyone who would like a chance to serve Me in public.

Think that could be you? Send Me a picture and a little information about yourself at brian.ofthelost@gmail.com

Happy Birthday to Me!

Today is My birthday! Join the rest of the worthy supplicants and send Me a little love by taking a look at My Amazon Wishlist. If there is one thing you do today, it should probably be this. After all, the heavens opened up twenty seven years ago on this day. :-)

I chose to write today, because I frankly don't know when I will have time to. The original intent of this blog was to have places where I could not only share My experiences, but also to share some writings and discussions (a la "Submissive's Bill of Rights"). However, since Wicked Wanderlust was started at the same time as I went independent and started My own website, I found Myself with much less time to write and more media than I really wished to originally manage. Oh well. I suppose I will relate the recent happenings.

First things first. I finally have My own computer for the first time since April. This is a major step forward for Me, as it means I finally can sync all of My data in one place, something I have not done in three years. So I've been sorting My files for the past few days, and still have a few dozen hours to go before I am done. I am Omnius, and hard drives are My Synchronized Worlds, dammit. All data must be constantly duplicated, and constantly updated. So I'm finally doing that. Expect to see a rise in quantity and quality of material soon. And My videos on Carnaval Decadent? There's gonna be a lot more going up on there as well, seeing how I now have a proper editing station. So keep checking back!

Remember that photo I said I was going to post from My needleplay scene with Goddess Thain? Boom. Here are fifty needles inserted in My back.

I was feeling down, and this was a very healing experience. Cathartic. Thank You, Goddess Thain! I was also sorely reminded of what punishment flogging felt like last night at Asylum 13 thanks to the traditional birthday beatings that are regularly handed there to lucky birthday folk! Ouch! Thanks for the love, guys!

Last week was both Philadelphia Leather Pride Night and the Aviary. I ran a demo station up on the second floor of Voyeur Nightclub, where anyone could come up and either chat or experience some kinky fun! Thanks to those folks who came out and made it possible!

 The tinsel shibari in the third picture was for the awesome XavierDOM to electrocute. I smacked around a couple of cute boys and fun was had by all. By the time I got to the Aviary, I was quite tired, and boy K and I left around 1:30 or so.

Tonight is Suspension Night at the Kink Shoppe, and I am sure to be in a good mood. It's a perfect chance for you to come meet Me and/or see and experience some fun rope bondage. Remember, this event is free to attend, and only runs $5 if you would like to be tied or fly. If anything, come wish Me a happy birthday! I'll be there at 6. With deliciousness.

Updates across the web are coming soon... and a proper post too.

New Videos Posted!

What a crazy time it's been, these fast few days.

First, I would like to thank all of the people who came out to My "Picking Up the Ropes" and "From Harness to Hogtie" classes. I was pleasantly surprised to see such awesome attendance. Thanks again, folks!

I had a wonderful time at the Asylum 13 Halloween Madness Masquerade Ball. Halloween is one of the few times I get to dress in a crazy fashion, and this year was no exception. Mega thanks to Marzapan Ratt for helping Me get it together and sewing the bulk of it. I came out in an awesome Silent Hill nurse outfit, and even won the costume contest along with My friend Chris, who dressed as pervy Death. Here is a kick ass picture I got before the party started:

I never do a costume half-assed, clearly. The night was a blast, with Die Sektor, Nekronet, Venal Flesh, and Aesthetic Perfection entertaining us for the night, as well as burlesque performances by MasoKiss and other local performers.

My big news for the day come in the form of videos, though! I have finally finished editing and uploading My four most recent videos, starring Katts. Here are your free previews!












The full length videos are already available at Carnaval Decadent, My Clips4Sale store. Free stills can be found on My FetLife page, and I will be posting them everywhere else soon. Here is a selection of My favorite still from each video:

Aren't those nice? Be sure to check out My Clips4Sale store for other hot BDSM vids as well. I intend on updating once a month, more or less. And remember, you can make requests!

Finally, I have changed My phone number for easier managing of My life. My new phone number is (215) 301 8701, and My previous one will not work. I have updated My sites and banners to reflect the change. If you link back to Me, please change to the recent banner with My new number on it.

Alright, I have to go attend to a foot pig. Hope everyone has a happy and safe Halloween!

OutFest 2013 Photos!

The Aviary was this Saturday, and I was in a shitty headspace. However, I have Goddess Thain to thank for pulling Me out of it with some 50 needles. Pictures coming soon.

OutFest 2013 was possibly one of the funnest times I've had recently. I arrived at Bazaar on Quince around 12:45 or so, and immediately started pulling out toys for some public play.

I got some pretty kick-ass pictures:

Towards the end of the afternoon, I was approached by Swedish blogger Gustav Andersson (from TheModernNomad.com) who shyly asked Me for a bit of play and a suspension. He was incredibly handsome and very sweet, so I obliged. At the time he approached Me, the frame was in use by Logical Paradox, so I pre-rigged him and asked him what he was interested in. After some light discussion on his interests, I did a little bit of light sensation play, which quickly graduated into some nipple torture. Having talked of his mild CBT interests, we moved on to binding his hands above his head and behind his back. Then, I pulled out My viper tongue, a nasty cross between a singletail whip and a dragon tail. I mercilessly hit him below the belt, and when I had driven him to his limit... I made him count down his ten final hits. He did so in that incredibly sexy Swedish language of his. We took a short break, and then I strung him up in an inverted suspension, where I continued to play with My claws and knives.

Playing with Gustav was a wonderful experience. The intensity of the scene was way up there, and we were being watched by a decently sized crowd. I was blessed to have Jackman and Pajaro Libre around, as they took some incredible pictures:

There are 43 photos of My scene with Gustav in an album on My public Facebook account. You don't have to be friends with Me to see it, so go take a look.

After the scene, I did some aftercare (mega thanks to Emrys for bringing him a blanket and a Peanut Chew). I was taken by surprise with how subdued he was, and how he held on tightly to Me. Aftercare is a very important part of play for Me, and always strikes Me strangely when I am in a setting where it is needed but not provided. I cannot play properly with a bottom, and will often deny play altogether, if I cannot provide them with aftercare. I have noticed that aftercare is often forgotten in the BDSM community, and even more so in the gay BDSM community. This saddens Me a great deal, as it is an essential part of play. I cannot speak for him, but it seemed that Gustav was almost surprised that I took time out to make sure he was OK and safe after his scene. He even told Emrys, when she brought him blanket and carbs, that "you guys really know how to care for a sub." Yay for all the feels.

I had an amazing time. Thank you all of you who came to OutFest, and anyone who came to My station for a little fun. I will definitely be back at the next pride event representing some BDSM love!

On to some other things:

Tomorrow is Asylum 13. YAY! Expect to see some Vines and more rope fun! Be sure to come down to Mojo 13 if you want to hear some hot beats and have some kinky fun!

Friday is Suspension Night at the Kink Shoppe! This is a great chance to come watch and/or experience rope suspension in a friendly, public environment. I will be there all night, as I tend to be, so be sure to come on up and talk to Me. Apparently, a secret source tells Me there will be cookies.

Next week is when you really want to be available, though...

• Friday, October 25th, I am teaching Picking Up the Ropes, My introductory class to rope bondage. 
• The next day, Saturday 26th, is the Halloween Madness Masquerade Ball down at Mojo 13 again. There will be some awesome music, including Aesthetic Perfection, Nekronet, Die Sektor, Venal Flesh, and other wild industrial craziness. Come up and check out My awesome Halloween costume!
• Finally, Sunday 27th, I will be back at the Kink Shoppe to teach My intermediate rope bondage class, From Harness to Hogtie. Come learn how to get kinky with some rope!

The links to the three events above lead to pages where you can read more about them and purchase advance tickets. Remember, you can always check what My upcoming events are on the Upcoming Events page of My website, or on My FetLife group!

Things Happening this Month...

Without a proper computer besides My tiny netbook and the ones that some friends have graciously allowed Me to use on occasion, updating much of anything is a bit hard. So I'll keep this one short and to the point. As mentioned in My last post, this lack of computer issue should be resolved soon.

Thanks to all who showed up to My spanking class at the end of last month at the Kink Shoppe! I will be teaching there again at the end of this month. Be sure to get your tickets early if you would like to attend the classes. Descriptions and links are on My website, but I have included them right here for your convenience. Tickets are $25 per person and $45 per couple. If you are signed up to the Kink Shoppe Newsletter, you get a lovely $5 off!

Picking Up the Ropes: Intro to Rope Bondage
Friday, October 25th, 2013 - 7:00 PM - 9:00 PM
Interested in rope bondage but intimidated by the mountain of information and techniques available? This simple workshop is designed to take you through the basic theories of rope bondage and teach you the commonly used ties that will be the foundation for all of your rope work to come. From cuffs to harnesses, from public corsets to private sexy rope... relax! You don't have to be a boy scout to keep your partner nice and secure! It is highly recommended you bring at least 15' of rope for this workshop (ideally, one 30' length and two 15' lengths). Rope is available for purchase at Kink Shoppe, and class attendees receive a same-day, one-time 10% discount on any purchase made.

From Harness to Hogtie: Intermediate Rope

Sunday, October 27th, 2013 - 7:00 PM - 9:00 PM
So you know your rope basics: you've tied a cuff of two, you've made some cool rope gauntlets, and you have a grasp on how to restrain your partner's limbs. What next? Join Me as I take you through how to tie harnesses, limb restraints, hogties, and decorative ties that will keep your partner nice and secure for long nights to come. It is recommended you attend Picking Up the Ropes first if you are not familiar with basic ties and practice. The following concepts should be known to ensure you can keep up: nerve locations, rope extension, square knot, belt lock, corset tie, Sommerville Bowline (single and double). There will be a 15-minute review of these concepts at the beginning of the workshop. It is highly recommended you bring at least one 30' length and two 15' length of rope for this workshop (ideally, two 30' length and four 15' lengths). Rope is available for purchase at Kink Shoppe, and class attendees receive a same-day, one-time 10% discount on any purchase made.

I do hope to see you folks there! The BDSM community stays active thanks to continuing education about it. So come visit, learn how to get knotty, and show your support!

Negotiations with Kink Shoppe are currently taking place to teach My introduction to needle play class, "Just a Pinch." Upon piercing Leggatt at Aviary, I remembered just how much I enjoy needle play (especially with such a hunky needle bottom!). Recently, he came by My house and we did some more needles: I always like to sharpen My skills, and he always likes to take more. The result was quite stunning, so I thought I should share it with you, on the right.

Isn't that awesome? And we just keep putting more and more in, every time we meet. Be prepared for some more awesome very soon.

This month, I will also be attending The Aviary (this Saturday), so if you want to come to one of Philadelphia's best play parties, be sure to pop in! As usual, I will be Dungeon Monitoring for a portion of the evening, and will loudly screech if I see any wrongdoing... play safe, folks. In a strange turn of events, I will also be attending Bazaar on Quince this year, which will take place this Sunday (October 13th), and running a suspensions and corporal punishment station! For those not aware, Bazaar on Quince is part of Outfest, one of Philadelphia's three annual pride events. I'll be there promoting The Aviary and answering questions about BDSM and the lifestyle in general. Do come by and say hello!

I know some of you have really been dying to see the new videos I shot recently with Katts. They are still being edited, a little at a time, as computers are made available to Me. To keep you aroused and panting, here are two awesome photos that were taken in between scenes that we filmed...

Reviewing what was captured, these are the scenes that will be up soon:

• Katts gets told off for having a girl in his room. As punishment, he is locked in a chastity cage and tickle-tortured mercilessly.
• A hard flogging that leaves Katts barely able to stand.
• Over the knee spanking that moves on to paddling, eventually leading to Katts crawling on the floor as I cane his very red ass.
• Katts is introduced to electro play for the first time and barely makes it five minutes.

I am trying to get them done as fast as I can, so be sure to keep an eye on this blog and on My FetLife and FetishMen page for updates!

Also, a shoutout: just a couple days ago, someone I'll name Chokeboy came to visit Me at the dungeon. I had known him back from when I was working at the International House of Pain, and he went AWOL for a while. I was very surprised to hear from him again, but glad! It's been a year since I last saw him... welcome back, Chokeboy!

Finally... My birthday is coming up November 15th! Do you want to please Me? Do you want to see your adoration and hard work put to use? Then I suggest you make My birthday memorable by taking a look at My Wishlist and finding something suitable for Me. As usual, if you do good, I will be sure to send you some personalized photographs of how much I enjoy the fruits of your labor, and give you a little nod on this blog. Take a look. Why wouldn't you?

Short Update and Class Announcements!

Between the events and meets I have been going to, I've had little time to update this blog, but it's time!

As usual this month, I have been going to Asylum 13, the Aviary (both the munch and the play party), and My usual Suspension Night on third Fridays. Remember that if you want to come meet Me at an event, a full schedule of them can be found on My website, on the Upcoming Events page.

The Aviary was particularly fun. I shaved My boy Stitch's head down and then watched him get his first needles by Goddess Thain. I am so happy to see that he is getting more involved in the community, and am proud of all the steps he has been taking recently. I also got a chance to do some needle play Myself on Leggatt, who can handle some extremely brutal pain. The result (twelve 18G needles stacked) is the picture above.

For those of you who follow My Facebook or Twitter, you have already seen many of the things that have happened this month. A pig was planning to set up a session with Me, but after checking with friends in the medical profession, he had to reschedule. He felt pretty bad about not being able to come and having taken up a couple of hours of My time planning, and as a gift of apology, he sent Me two gift. I am now the proud owner of a new Birdcage device, as well as a pound of Lapsang Souchong. The latter is a fine smoked tea from the Fujian province, and absolutely delicious. After having left London, I thought I would not really have a chance to drink any quality Lapsang, but this good pig spotted the bag listed on My Wishlist and sent it to Me. He did very well, and is welcome to contact Me to arrange for his session once he fully recovers. And the chastity device is wondrous, as I do tend to know some very well-endowed boys who do not fit in My CB-6000.

I have also come into contact with David Barton-Jay, kinkster and author of the beautiful book "The Enema as an Erotic Art and Its History." Mr. Barton-Jay kindly gifted Me a copy of his wonderful work, and I have been reading it intently. The book is truly beautiful and detailed, full of exciting stories, informative facts, and fine pictures detailing enemas as a practice throughout history. I highly recommend this volume to all fans of erotic enemas. There are less than seventy five copies of its third and final printing remaining, and so I strongly suggest you get one before it disappears completely. You will not be disappointed. In fact, I was reading it earlier, and Stitch took a very sexy picture of Me doing so. I found it a fitting thank you to the author, as well as a sexy hello to you, reader.

Other things have also happened, but this entry was to remind you of My upcoming classes. And so, here are said friendly reminders!

This Friday (September 27th) at 7 PM I will be teaching a spanking class. Curious about spanking? Come to this great intro class at the Kink Shoppe (126 Market Street) which will cover all of your basics, as well as some paddling. Are you an aspiring spanking Top? Bring your bottom and follow along! Are you a bottom that is curious about spanking? Stay to see how a properly spanked rear should look and feel! It is highly recommended you bring a partner to this class if you'd like to get some spanking practice in. I will be presenting with Mathamatic as My demo bottom, but will also have Katts and Cherry as "stunt asses" for anyone wanting to practice directly on a rear end, should they not have brought one with them. Both of these individuals are skilled spankees, and have kindly volunteered their time to make sure everyone gets some spanking in. What's that you say? You want to get spanked but do not wish to pair up with another workshop attendee? I will also be available to spank anyone coming, after class. You can get your tickets here, and you can let us know if you are coming through either Facebook or FetLife.

The following morning, Saturday September 28th, I will be at the Philadelphia Slut Walk. I am a fierce proponent of consent, and despise the rape and slut shaming culture of the times. If you strongly agree with these sentiments, I recommend you join Me at 11 AM in LOVE Park.

Finally, My most popular classes are back! Rope 101 and Rope 201 will be held on Friday October 25th and Sunday October 27th, respectively. Mark your calendars, and use the links on My Upcoming Events page to read more about them and purchase your tickets early. These two events are also listed on Facebook and FetLife, so hit them up if you are coming.

Tonight, I will be at the Bike Stop for a Philadelphians MC meeting, and tomorrow is a long day of shooting new Clips4Sale with the sexiest twink alive, Katts. Expect to see some flogging, spanking, and all of the sexy. If you are already a customer of My C4S studio, I will be sending you a personalized update log as soon as updates are ready!

PS: It looks like I may be getting a new computer soon, which means a drastic improvement on updates, especially photography, C4S, and blog. Hooray!

PPS: Oh, I almost forgot. I updated My specials for Autumn! Your first hour of needle play with Me at the dungeon can be reduced to $150 all the way through December 20th! Also, if you wish for a spanking, I have extended My out-call special as well: one hour spanking out-calls are available at the very reduced rate of $100! Hooray for red asses!

Return from FetFest 2013

I am finally back from FetFest 2013, and have decompressed at My boy Stitch's house for the past couple of days. I am ready to blog, yay!

Dungeon crew is no joke, folks, let Me tell you. Moving a gigantic truck of play furniture from North Jersey down to Maryland was quite an endeavor, and I'd like to say thank you to the entire team who made it possible. It was grueling, but in the end, I think we did awesome.

FetFest 2013 was, as usual, an amazing experience. However, it seems some changes in the management structure caused quite a bit of distress and complications for many people. However, this is not the place for Me to talk about that, and I'd like to focus on the amazing experiences of this weekend. After a long and setup all day Friday, I headed down to the pool with My friend Kitty, where we had a water bondage interrogation. Having hot really enjoyed My time at MataLeao's skill share at Floating World 2013, I decided to apply some of the principles I picked up and combine them with My love of card games and knife play. I allowed Kitty some time to swim away, and then chased her down, knife in teeth. Once she was tied in a hogtie, I proceeded to "vigorously question" her on a prenegotiated secret, and managed to get the information I wanted in some 20 minutes. Our play was slightly interrupted by the full-body fire ignitions, which had been moved to Friday night, unbeknownst to Me. I did not return to the fire this year, as I had the past two, but I greatly enjoyed My time in the pool, and watching other do so. Many newcomer participated, and it was thrilling to see so many naked people catch flame.

Briefly after My scene, I headed up to the main dungeon space where I had a date with master cutter Zebrianna, who proceeded to carve a design of a xenomorph into My right thigh. I will not lie: the first pass was pretty bearable, but the second one was hard. The rubbing of alcohol into the wound, followed immediately by cigar ash (a chemically cauterizing agent) was some of the most unbelievable pain I have ever experienced, and all of the insults flew out of My mouth. Apparently, this was quite hysterical to many. The image on the left is a photograph taken Tuesday night (day 3 of healing) by My boy, after My shower and irritant scrub.

My Saturday was spent mostly relaxing and socializing while in hot pants and a cape, as well as introducing a newbie to pain in the early afternoon, and scening with the beautiful PJ in the evening for some catharsis. The night, however, was when I had to do My first irritant scrub on My cutting. For those unaware of how cutting mods work, this involves scrubbing an open wound with lemon, sea salt, and a toothbrush. I was advised to have a spotter in the shower, as the pain could lead to fainting. I had two spotters, and I'd like to take time to thank the two young ladies who helped Me during an hour and a half. I thought that the cigar ash was bad? I was a fool. I really do think at least a third of the camp either saw Me or heard Me yowling like My flesh was being ripped off. I was on the floor most of the time, as My leg refused to carry Me the second the salty lemon scrub hit the cuts. I have at least 20 minutes of lost time from that experience. I want to warn anyone who is interested in a cutting: your first scrub will be pain beyond all belief. You have been warned. The night ended with some bondage and knifeplay with the extremely bratty Kobal. In fact, he pissed Me off so much with his mouthiness, that I told him to meet Me the next day in the dungeon for a strapon hatefuck.

My Sunday was spent tanning, socializing some more, and running around with Django (My black rubber 10-inch strapon) sticking out of My pants. I did have a lovely time covering a woman with at least half a gallon of hot wax with her Dominant husband. In the late evening, I changed into My more usual priest-inspired suit wear so I could meet up with Kobal (who coincidentally looks a lot like what white people think Jesus looked like). We had some hot fun, which ended up actually turning very different from what we thought it would be. I will not detail too much out of respect for his privacy, but suffice it to say that it turned into a pretty interesting psychological deconstruction.

All in all, it was a wonderful time. My only regrets were missing the full-body fire this year, and missing the closing ritual at Primal Arts (I justified not going for the yearly ordeal sacrifice with My cutting... that was ordeal enough). I cannot wait for next year.

Dungeon crew packed up all day Monday, and we returned to normalcy late that night. A huge thanks to everyone who made this weekend possible, from BLP, to the Black Phoenix crew, to Mordona and the medics, and everyone else I interacted with . These events are what we make of them, and this year was amazing as always. Who's awesome? All of you are awesome.

Back in the normal world, I have placed on the boy Stitch a collar of consideration. This being done, we will see how he grows in his submission in the next year, and what will happen then. He has been invaluable in My stability and it is thanks to him that I have been more productive than I thought I would be. And of course, I can rely on him to stave off all the con-drop with bagels and blowjobs. Congratulations, boy.

And now, back to the grind! Back to school coincides with a good bit of workshops for Me. More info on these is available on My Upcoming Events page, on My website. The following workshops/demos will be taking place at the Kink Shoppe, at 126 Market Street in Philadelphia:

• Suspension Night at the Kink Shoppe - 09/20/13
• Rosy Cheeks: From the Hand to the Paddle - Intro to Spanking with Sir Brian - 09/27/13
• Picking Up the Ropes: Intro to Rope Bondage with Sir Brian - 10/25/13
• From Harness to Hogtie: Intermediate Rope with Sir Brian - 10/27/13

As promised, here is My preview video for "Katts is Bound and Tickled (Sir Brian's POV)." I will be uploading the finished videos to My Clips4Sale in the next 24-48h, as well as the feeding video preview, so be sure to check them out!

Also, I have opened My Vine account, where I am bored and hysterical. You can access My Vine through My Twitter account, as I use the same username. Enjoy six seconds of fun every now and then.

That's it for now, folks. This is Sir Brian, signing off.

Return from TFW, a Mad Week, and More Madness to Come!

I finally can sit and write something. But I will be brief and visual, because those are the great things in life.

The Floating World was an amazing experience that I cannot wait to repeat next year. From hogtied in the pool, to watching Wolfy get his cutting, to the mysterious event known as "it," everything was amazing and intense. I want to thank all the organizers, presenters, and wonderful people who helped put this together. A big hug to everyone I met and especially to the people who dealt with My overemotional neurosis. :-P

I have finished editing and converting three POV videos with Katts, and am going to be uploading them next week. Right now, you will have to wait... but I am merciful! And so, I give you a preview of the things to come...

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If you look on My xHamster.com page in a couple of days, you will also find a preview video for some evil tickling, and another of him eating prezel bites from My hand. Because I can be cute. They just take a while to process is all.

I returned from Floating World and had little time to decompress, between personal obligations, Asylum 13, and a rope demo at Kink Shoppe (which completely escaped My public calendars for some reason... I really should get a boy to manage My website for Me!). This did result in a very fun time! So much, that, as I may have mentioned before, I will be doing suspension demos every third Friday of the month, right in Old City! It is $5 to participate and be suspended, or free to watch. Do come out and experience the ropes, or just come to say hi! Friday, September 20th is the next suspension night.

I am also running a class for those who want to learn some butt-based corporal: Rosy Cheeks: From the Hand to the Paddle will be at the Kink Shoppe on September 27th! Further details for this are TBA. And because I know there are some rope enthusiasts out there who want to get their tying on, I will be teaching both of My rope 101 and 201 at the Kink Shoppe in late October. More details on this soon as well!

Here's a couple of pictures from suspension night:

The gentleman on the right in a futomomo-based suspension is Logical Paradox, a skilled rigger himself and winner of the 2013 Rope Rodeo. See? This is why you need to come out to Old City on third Fridays.

No week is complete without Asylum 13 madness. This time, I brought on the holy, as it's been a while since I let Father O'Brian out. That's right, I brought out the old priest collar and righteous might and went to Asylum 13 all Catholicked up. Of course, I'm one Hell of a hot priest, which quickly lands Me into trouble. These awesome photos were taken by Rhino Photography, who is genius:

And now, it's 3:30 in the morning, and I am running madly about packing. Tomorrow, I am headed to New Jersey to help build furniture for FetFest 2013. I'll be staying at the campground the entire event as dungeon crew. For Me, FetFest 2013 begins tomorrow morning! Yay!

Upon My return, there shall be updates! Website, social networks, FetLife group... I also have a Vine account now, yay! Watch My Twitter for the first video coming soon!

At The Floating World!

These past few days have been productive, between making a few hot POV videos with bitchboy Katts:

To fun times at Asylum 13:

And a great Aviary, where Stitch came out to his first public event. And there was much rejoicing. The new Katts POV vids will be edited and uploaded next week. Why is this?

Because I am enjoying three days of kinky goodness at The Floating World, where I am blogging from today. I arrived in Edison, NJ at 7 PM with Lady Rez. I will not be vending for Echo's Fire after all, but I will be your friendly Dungeon Monitor late night on Saturday, as well as a late morning and nighttime on Sunday. Drop in and say hi!

As far as today, I just wasn't feeling to well, so I just tried to keep to Myself. However, that means more time to plan for tomorrow. :-) 

Also, it seems I have found a way to FetFest 2013! I will be there all weekend as part of Dungeon setup crew, and hope to see many faces I haven't seen in a long time! Hooray!

Thing seem well. I am pleased.

CBT Nightmare, Double Trouble, Festival Wishes, and Item Sale!

I have been ridiculously busy these days, which I suppose is a good thing. I had a wonderful visitor last week who brought Me much joy and pleasure! I had been meaning to write up some of My session, but there is no rest for the wicked. However, here are some pretty intense and NSFW pictures of his pained cock. He was a handsome, Sean Penn-looking fellow who made some pretty interesting sounds... since I took pictures, I also had a chance to take a brief video!

 

Yes, that's blood on his balls. Whoopsy tootsy! Bah, he had a lot of fun, I'm sure. Actually, he did mention the next day that it was a great time. I do hope I get to see him again. The little whimpers of pain were incredibly entertaining, and I would enjoy hearing them again. And of course, since he doesn't mind pictures being taken, I'm always game for that as well.

Asylum 13 is, as always, a blast every Thursday. Last one saw a pretty awesome double inverted suspension by Me, which I managed to capture on My phone and upload to YouTube. Seriously, folks, there is nothing better to do every Thursday night in DE. Come and fly with Me!

My video shooting is delayed, as always. I am full of plans, but not so much action. This is because of all of the changes happening around Me and in My own life. Chances are, return to fully operational status will not occur for at least another three to six months.

I am, however, ecstatic to announce that I will be attending The Floating World this year, where I will be vending for Echo's Fire for the entire weekend. Since the vending stations are not open during the evenings of the event, I will have full availability for sessions, microclasses, and just for discussions. As of right now, I have not been booked, and have not made any private plans. If you are signed up to go to this event this year, be sure to seek Me out and have a chat with Me! I will be bringing My usual arsenal of rope, needles, knives, and more

Due to My psychotic previous roommate having effectively swindled Me for almost a grand, I will not be attending FetFest 2013. I have gone to FetFest the past two years, since it began, and I am extremely sad that I will not be able to be there this year. The moronic asscunt I lived with made sure of that. However, being bitter is not going to really get Me far. I have until August 24th to register. Most likely, I will not be doing so. However, if you want a great chance to spend and entire weekend, day and night, in masochistic ecstasy with Me, and you would consider purchasing an additional weekend pass, get in touch with Me. I will screen you for suitability, and should I find you to My liking, will spend the weekend with you in exchange for a ticket and event T-shirt (I have one from both past festivals, and intend on having one every year I go).

Finally, I am getting rid of a few of My things, and replacing them with items I have a greater need for. The main item I would like to offload is a plain black men's corset, size 32. Since I have lost some weight since purchasing it, I no longer need it, and would like to pass it on to anyone who may want to buy it off Me. It's a high quality piece, and has been worn less than 20 times in the past year and a half. If you are interested, feel free to e-mail Me. I will also be putting it up on the local Philadelphia barter boards. I am asking for either $75 in cash, or BDSM toy barter. Make an offer! You never know what I will take in exchange. A good way to see what I'm seeking in terms of barter is to look at My Amazon Wishlist by item priority.

I will also be selling a complete black CB-6000 set with extra rings and plastic locks, probably for $75 as well. This set will be cleaned with surgical grade cleaner and inventoried before being sold, but interested parties are welcome to inquire about it.

I am sure I had more to post up, but I'm spending the day with the boy Stitch, and he's working My nerves a good deal, because he wants a beating... so until I do that, I'm not going to be getting much done.

Submissive's Bill of Rights

I would like to move away from the love letter to Myself that is this blog briefly to address a serious issue: consent

Too many times I hear horror stories of submissive men and women being subjected to nonconsensual abuse, simply because they believe that the adage "the Dominant is always right" is some kind of grandiose golden commandment of BDSM. A most recent story I heard involves a submissive boy being ordered to not speak in any capacity about his relationship with his Femdom to anyone else in the scene. When he protested, she answered simply that her word is law. I don't know about you, but that strikes up a major red flag for Me. Abuse often starts with the isolation of the victim. Needless to say, he is no longer in service to her, and I hope he has learned a valuable lesson.

I am going to say this yet again: the power behind BDSM lies in the fact that all activities are performed under consent. Anything else is abuse. If you truly believe that submissives have no rights, GO HOME. You lack the intellectual maturity to play this game.

A while ago, I stumbled across a document called "The boy's Bill of Rights." It perfectly encompassed what I felt about this issue, but it was very homo-centric. Contrary to popular belief, I rank between a 4 and 5 on the Kinsey scale (meaning that I am predominantly homosexual, but not exclusively so), and felt that these points could benefit from a tad bit of gender neutrality.

And so, here is My revised version, the submissive's Bill of Rights. Dominants are encouraged to post this to tell subs that They care about their rights, and subs are equally encouraged, to show others that they have no tolerance for abuse.

1. Every submissive has the right to have their body, intellect, and emotions protected by their Dominant.
2. Every submissive has the right to choose the Dominant whom they serve and to discontinue that service and take their leave without being subjected to physical, mental, or emotional abuse.
3. Every submissive has the right to be cared for, disciplined appropriately, and allowed to feel pride in their submission.
4. Every submissive has the right to protected sex if they so wish.
5. Every submissive has the right to privacy if they so wish.  No submissive can be blackmailed, publicly humiliated, or physically coerced into service without their expressed desire to be so.
6. Every submissive has the right to defend themselves from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse.
7. Every submissive has the right to consent or not to consent to sexual activities.
8. Every submissive has the right to seek refuge, counsel, and advice from other submissives and Dominants without the expectation of sex, money, or any other service in return.
9. Every submissive has the right to a physically and emotionally available circle of friends.
10. Every submissive has the right to protect their own possessions and finances against intercession, theft, and non-consensual acquisition.

Another review!

The heat has been awful, ne? I've been keeping cool and out of the sun by mercilessly beating a new arrival to kink and to My own inner circle, Stitch. He is quite fun, I must confess. Such masochism! Such range! It makes My sadistic little black heart smile. And he wrote Me a review:

Sir Brian is one of those rare people who brings His craft to the level of art. He is a professional in every sense of the word, from his spoken word to the deliberate manner in which He will set His implements on the table while you await the fate He has in store for you. Prior to meeting Sir Brian, I had only engaged in casual exploration of BDSM, but Sir Brian patiently and expertly introduced me to the many sensory experiences that were awaiting me in His world. He is true to His word: He will respect your limits and tolerances, while expertly pushing the boundary just far enough to make each experience unforgettable. In His skilled hands, you will feel dualities of emotion beyond what you thought possible: agony and ecstasy, pain and pleasure, fear and comfort,all enveloped in a euphoria that will overtake your body in new and unexpected ways. I hesitated for some time before initiating my first scene with Him, and it is those lost hours due to my own fear and vacillating that comprise my only regret.

Isn't that nice? Somebody earned themselves more savage beatings!

It's back on, fuckers!

I'm sorry. I can't help Myself. I had to come back. I couldn't leave you all without My annoyingly verbose updates. How would you survive? *wink*

Things are very slowly returning to normalcy. Thanks to all of the people who have reached out to Me in support of this nutty period of My life. I should be back to normal operating status by the end of the month! I'm still not taking same-day in-calls to the dungeon, but I will take 24h advance notice for them. Meanwhile, My out-calls remain available on a same-day notice.

First things first, thank you to everyone who showed to My Bedroom Rope: Bondage for Sex class, as well as My all-day demos for InsideOut Old City. Mega-thanks to My amazing demo bottom, suspension bunny, and amazing PR goddess, Marthamatic, as well as to anyone who came out for this fun day! Here are some delightful pictures to entertain you!

 

 

No wonder I get branded as the "rope guy" everywhere I go. If there are ever too many pictures of Me doing something, it's probably suspending people. I can't help it!

I am also blessed to have some wonderful friends and play partners who always keep a smile on My face when I am down. It is thanks to them that I have not lost My smile.

In fact, I just recently received a visit from My friends Kara, Nevaahe, and Stark. We have not seen each other since 2006, and seeing them was an amazing experience. It's true that we make few friends in our short time on this Earth. I am happy to count these three among Mine. Sadly, a picture is not the best thing I could put up, seeing how I'd have to blur all faces due to sensitive vanilla-related issues. Still find it quite funny that we were friends back when we were 13-14, and now we're all kinky, and still friends. Great minds think alike!

I also have to thank Katts, who lets Me beat him mercilessly at Asylum 13 every week (except for last night, which made Me sad faced... more on that later), an activity which brings Me an immense amount of psychological well-being. Some three weeks ago, the wonderful Rhino Photography, lead photographer of the event, took some truly amazing shots of a shared scene with Gabriel Drax. Here are a few of My favorites:

I'm not sure Katts knows how grateful I am to him and his girlfriend for letting Me do all this with him. As I have mentioned, we were in the process of negotiating some video work a while back, and I am happy to say that I indeed will be filming with him, hopefully two or three scenes by the end of the month. So yay! I need to remember to control My play though. I get a little overenthusiastic sometimes, which is exactly why his girlfriend punished him and didn't let him play with Me this week. What can I say, I got a little out of hand last week:

See that face? That's masochistic ecstasy, right there.I had a stupid grin on My face for at least five days. And he had a nasty scratch on his stomach, courtesy of My bear claws. And apparently, the crucifix scratch in his chest just faded a couple of days ago. Whoopsy tootsy!

So I was going to have a little more fun last night, but then he informed Me (very cutely, may I add) that his girlfriend was a bit miffed at how hard I went on him last week, and didn't want us playing this week. That's more of a punishment on Me, dammit!

Add to the fact that I was supposed to see a visitor last night (the awesome plan involved Me locking up his cock, chaining him to the bed leg, and then sleeping in said bed while he remained on the floor), but he ended up falling asleep before I got there... and no play for Me. So I have been a bit out of My mind all day with sadistic ideas and generally kinky thoughts...

...which lead Me to consider running a nantaimori night sometime soon. Who doesn't enjoy naked men? Who doesn't enjoy sushi? Obviously, the combination of these two things would be quite perfect. I am not too shabby at sushi preparation, and this would be a lovely chance for Me to run a dinner-style event Myself, an idea which I've been toying with. And did I mention the naked men?

I already have lofty, unrealistic plans, so I guess things are working out after all. Stay tuned. Oh, and I'll be at The Aviary, tomorrow night. See you there, fellow kinksters!

The Part You Throw Away

Apologies to those of you who have been worried. My life has gone completely upside down in the past week or so.

I pondered how to write something that would be clear, concise, and express exactly what I feel while protecting Me and Mine. I have not come up with a proper way of doing so.

In the past week, I have been physically assaulted as well as extorted  for over $1700 by My psychotic ex-roommate. Now, fairly, I did owe him some $850. However, the OTHER $850 come from the inability of this individual to take no for an answer.

I admit it, I stuck My dick in crazy. Funny, isn't it? I champion not sticking your dick in psychos, yet that is exactly what I did. And when I told psycho that I was not interested in him in a romantic sense, that's when shit started going down.

It all started with a phone call last Saturday, when attending a private event. Truly, the discomfort had started earlier in the week, but that's when I was faced with an ultimatum. One that I was fine with, but that forced Me to put a deadline down on monies owed. I was confident that I could come to an agreement with this crazy motherfucker. Turns out that when things got physical between us and he threatened My livelihood, as well as the life of one of My play partners and My One, I knew I had to leave, even if I didn't have an immediate place to go.

And that´s what I did. The entire situation was not only becoming psychologically and physically dangerous, but was simply getting worse by the second. I left without knowing where I would sleep that night. So right now, I am in an extremely twisted situation. I am still taking sessions, although not same-day appointments until further notice. Additionally, I will not be updating this blog or My profiles much in the next couple of weeks, perhaps even a month. I have given My website an update, including the events I will be attending, as well as My seasonal specials, but that will likely be how it remains for the rest of the month.

I will be doing bondage demos all day on July 6th, during Old City District's Inside Out. Come enjoy yourself throughout the day, and then join Me at 4:30 PM for a mini workshop: Bedroom Rope: Bondage for Sex. I will also be be joined by Echo, of EchosFire.com, who will be doing fire massage demonstrations. He will also be running his own workshop, "Art of the Fire Massage" at 7 PM.

Be sure to stop by and make Me smile, I need it.

Here are a few pointers to close things off:

1.) Don't stick your dick in crazy, much less codependent, drug-addicted crazy.
2.) When offered things of any sort, refuse them. Before you know it, you're running a tab you were unaware of.
3.) Don't stick your dick in crazy.
4.) Remember Micah 7:5 - Trust ye not in a friend, put ye not confidence in a guide: keep the doors of thy mouth from her that lieth in thy bosom.
5.) Don't stick your dick in crazy.
6.) Never forget when your loved ones are threatened. When they are, keep that close to your heart, even if your vengeance takes years to exact. Nobody touches what is Mine and gets away with it. Not for long, anyway. Tee hee!
7.) Don´t stick your dick in crazy.
8.) When the person you live with calls you an amoral sociopathic heathen, it's time to go. If they've told you that they are sending friends to drive-by your home every hour, you are too late.
9.) Don't stick your dick in crazy!!

And because no post is complete without at least a pretty picture, here is one of a recent Asylum 13. The handsome young man on the right is Echo, in fact. As of late, he's been coming to events with Me and offering his service (since I'm usually running around like a headless chicken). If you see us out together, be sure to chat him up about his excellent fire massage services! Seriously, the fellow is talented.

PS: Regarding My situation, anyone who asks Me face to face will be provided with full description and stats if they wish, to avoid the crazy fucker I just left. Trust Me, it's way easier to fall for his bullshit than you'd think. I'm the second person he's done this to in the past couple months. The first had to file a police report, and from what I understand, still does not have her property back.

Class Success! Computer Fail! Random Cuntslinging!

So guess who had a very successful rope class? That's right, I did! Thanks to all who attended. I will definitely now do a 202 class for those who attended and those wishing to learn techniques above elementary rope. Here are a couple of pictures:

As My demo, I used the lovely and lithe Katts who was a wonderful sport, even when I teased him a bit. He did very good, and I am quite proud of him. We also discussed video work together and both him and his girlfriend seemed game, so keep your eye out for some hot clips featuring a lot of beating mixed with a good bit of this:

I'm such a horrible tease. And I'm going to fuck that beautiful skinny straight boy up. Look, doesn't My collar already look perfect on him?

By the way, if you've not gone either to the First Friday demo or the rope class, you are missing out. In fact, since Kink Shoppe is not too far from Me, I'm often there just hanging out and playing with Myself a good deal. I mean, BY Myself, excuse Me. In fact, I recently did a little compilation on YouTube of different people's Vine videos which I found and put together.

As you can see, you've been missing a lot of things.

Just last night, I went to the Bike Stop, where a gentleman was celebrating his 31st birthday. Because I always have My toys with Me when I go out, I gave him a sound birthday beating. However, I went past thirty-one, because the little painslut was really loving it. After 45, I realized that another few hits might have been more than he bargained for in the morning, so I did stop. I did have a great amount of fun though, and was complimented by a few nice gentlemen on My lovely form.

It did remind Me of something that I have mentioned repeatedly, although most FetLifers know this already: if I have not felt it first, I do not dish it. I will always bottom at least once to what I top with.

In fact, on very rare occasions, when things aren't going very well for Me in the great turmoil that is My brainmeats, I will seek peace and quietude by taking pain, usually in an unusual situation or setting. This is exactly what I did on Thursday at Asylum 13, when I suspended Myself upside down and blindfolded, and let Gabriel Drax, organizer and grand pasha of flogging, beat Me with his particularly nasty dragontail. The results, as can be seen on the left, were harsh (at least for Me, who does not enjoy pain per se). But what was nice was the bit of mental peace that followed. See? This is exactly what happens when you don't follow Me around: I get half naked and writhe about like sandtrout, and you have no clue until it's too late. Oh well.

So what has My brainmeats in turmoil? A couple things. First, the computer I have been using since My own computer exploded is going back to its rightful owner. I have been using it for four months now, and it has served Me very well, but all good things must come to an end.

I do own two other computers, so I will still be posting, booking sessions, and making Myself available regularly to answer questions and fill the internet with My babble, but that is not the issue:

The camera I use to film My Carnaval Décadent videos, a Sony HVR-A1U, is not compatible with any of My current computers. Additionally, newer Macs (I edit using Final Cut Pro X and Adobe AfterEffects) do not have a proper 6-conductor Firewire alpha port to transfer My footage. To top it off, adapter cables do not work with this precise camera model. So I either need a new solid-state camera, or a Mac that still has 6-conductor alpha ports (which, if I am correct, are pre-2010). I'm not in a position right now to purchase either of those things, because quite frankly, bills need to be paid.

In short, it looks like My fetish pornography empire is not going to be as prolific as I thought. It's always one step forward and two steps back. I'm getting really fucking sick of all this bullshit which interrupts My groove.

Let's also add to that issue the fact that some pretty pernicious rumors have been started about Me, which are causing Me strife and calling My morality and motives in question. So I'll speak to two people right now publicly:

To Individual Number One: If someone claims I said something, the correct action to do is to directly come to Me an confront Me like an adult. I have no interest in lying to anyone, as that take away from My well-known neutrality. It's what I have based My entire reputation on, so trust, it's not going to shift any time soon. Also, I have quite the way with words, and those who have taken even five minutes of their lives to know Me can easily distinguish things I say from things others claim I say. I also have no interest in shitting where I eat, by the way.

This next bit is to Individual Number Two, and had no bearing on what I said to Number One: If you decide that you are going to be a negative force trying to destroy Me (either because you do not like Me or are jealous of Me), be assured that I will find you. And I will ruin every bit of your life. Your very name will be a synonym for distrust, unfaithfulness, and damage; and I will make it My personal pleasure to make sure that your very existence as an agent of anything good is destroyed, even across oceans. And if you don't think that can happen, try Me, bitch.

Yelan abo taareesak to a good portion of the scene, by the way. Before speaking, be sure that My eyes and ears are not around. It's the least you can do before digging your own grave.

I had a lovely chat with Goddess Cleo earlier today, and while I stated I did not wish to return to England just yet, I'm now really considering it: I miss London a great deal. Now that was a place where people were honest and upfront, and where social standing was based purely on skill and knowledge, not who you rub elbows with or gossip about.

Now if you will excuse Me, I have a party to get ready for and attend.