Submissive's Bill of Rights

I would like to move away from the love letter to Myself that is this blog briefly to address a serious issue: consent

Too many times I hear horror stories of submissive men and women being subjected to nonconsensual abuse, simply because they believe that the adage "the Dominant is always right" is some kind of grandiose golden commandment of BDSM. A most recent story I heard involves a submissive boy being ordered to not speak in any capacity about his relationship with his Femdom to anyone else in the scene. When he protested, she answered simply that her word is law. I don't know about you, but that strikes up a major red flag for Me. Abuse often starts with the isolation of the victim. Needless to say, he is no longer in service to her, and I hope he has learned a valuable lesson.

I am going to say this yet again: the power behind BDSM lies in the fact that all activities are performed under consent. Anything else is abuse. If you truly believe that submissives have no rights, GO HOME. You lack the intellectual maturity to play this game.

A while ago, I stumbled across a document called "The boy's Bill of Rights." It perfectly encompassed what I felt about this issue, but it was very homo-centric. Contrary to popular belief, I rank between a 4 and 5 on the Kinsey scale (meaning that I am predominantly homosexual, but not exclusively so), and felt that these points could benefit from a tad bit of gender neutrality.

And so, here is My revised version, the submissive's Bill of Rights. Dominants are encouraged to post this to tell subs that They care about their rights, and subs are equally encouraged, to show others that they have no tolerance for abuse.

1. Every submissive has the right to have their body, intellect, and emotions protected by their Dominant.
2. Every submissive has the right to choose the Dominant whom they serve and to discontinue that service and take their leave without being subjected to physical, mental, or emotional abuse.
3. Every submissive has the right to be cared for, disciplined appropriately, and allowed to feel pride in their submission.
4. Every submissive has the right to protected sex if they so wish.
5. Every submissive has the right to privacy if they so wish.  No submissive can be blackmailed, publicly humiliated, or physically coerced into service without their expressed desire to be so.
6. Every submissive has the right to defend themselves from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse.
7. Every submissive has the right to consent or not to consent to sexual activities.
8. Every submissive has the right to seek refuge, counsel, and advice from other submissives and Dominants without the expectation of sex, money, or any other service in return.
9. Every submissive has the right to a physically and emotionally available circle of friends.
10. Every submissive has the right to protect their own possessions and finances against intercession, theft, and non-consensual acquisition.

My Clips4Sale Studio is Open!

        It is with no pride or joy that I announce that My Clips4Sale store is open. Please direct your shiny browsers to Carnaval Décadent, My brand spanking new page of perversions.

        As I had mentioned before here, on other networks, and live, the opening of this page was supposed to be a BIG deal for Me. I was going to bombard the web with preview videos, shake things up on social networks, blah blah blah... However, dealing with many of these sites has been a complete nightmare, to such an extent that I feel no happiness at having completed it, and am no longer interested in the fanfare.

        Clips4Sale is a ridiculously simple service to use, but sometimes lacks a bit of honesty when it comes to answering questions directly. Little things I wish I had known before putting Myself out there. But C4S has been great as a server. My major issue these past few days has been with xTube. After uploading all of My preview clips onto My xTube page, My account was shut down without warning or explanation (hmm, sounds like Tumblr to Me). After hounding them like an animal, I finally got an answer as to why. I quote:

"You are not allowed to circulate external URLs anywhere on this site. Although Xtube does provide free content for our users, Xtube is not a free advertising platform for competitors' websites. 

If you'd like to reinstate your account then please read and agree to comply to the terms of use of the site."

        I find that to be incredibly humorous, seeing how xTube is mostly comprised of advertisement and preview videos for major porn companies, all which link out to other websites. That, and the fact that their Terms of Use, which I have read carefully, do not openly mention such a rule, but leave it purposefully unclear. I do not have the time to fight or to argue with them, and so, I have sent them a letter asking them to please remove My account, as I have no interest in working with a company that favors the big producers over independent pornographers.

        I have sent a message to xHamster, who not only support independent producers, but also have an affiliates program. They have not gotten back to Me yet. Hopefully they will do so soon enough.

        Until then, I invite you to check out the folder on My Google Drive, and download any preview video you want. Spread them, send them, share them, upload them... I really do not care. Whenever I have them on a real porn server, I will announce it.

        The Gizmo card restriction should be lifted in a week or two. If you are so inclined to purchase any clips, I would appreciate if you did so after the fact, as Gizmo is notoriously slow. Thanks.

Fuck you, fish boy!

No, this is not My Christmas post yet. But it was awesome and I wanted to share. This was in response to one of My ads, not in any type of chat. Too good.

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Him: Hey

Me: Congratulations. Three letters. Quite an achievement when I asked for a detailed introductory message. Would you like to try again?

Him: my fetish is feet send me a pic of yours

Me: I don't give a flying fuck what your fetish is unless you can come up with a respectful introduction, something I asked for.
I have size 12 feet, and pics are available online if one knows where to look. I don't have to send you anything or do anything if I don't feel like it, especially if I find you to be rude, which I do. Again, try being polite, something I ask for in My ad, and you'll find Me much more accommodating.
Regards,
-Sir Brian

Him: fuck you, fish boy

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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I have no idea what just happened there.

Rude E-mail #05792 - I sent you a picture of my cock because I'm looking for friends!

This was almost too good. I want to frame this one. It's a pity My previous blog was shut down with no ability to regain most of My previous posts (FUCK YOU, TUMBLR!). Because this has to be one of the crowning achievements of advertising response, and I wish it could join the ranks with the rest of them. However, this is the first "Rude Email" series post I do, so I'm actually also quite happy it's this excellent.

I post ads everywhere. In all of My ads, I specify that I'm looking for visitors to My dungeons or people to teach. I also specify no organic sexual contact, usually three times in My ad, to be sure there is no confusion. My ad is clear, concise about what I expect (an attempt at proper writing, a polite approach, and... oh yeah, no sex). Those who fail epically get quickly shut down and posted here to have an example made out of them. Be warned. Welcome to the Rude E-mail series.

Cue this guy. As usual, My personal thoughts are in parentheses and italicized.

All I receive is a huge big black cock shot. No name, no siggy, no message. Just a cock. A big, black one. Of course, this is a POV shot, because I'm sure he's quite lonely from the lack of human communication, so he likely cannot find someone to take the picture for him.

Fun fact: this is the second time he's sent a message, and the second time I turned him down. This time, I decided to push it a little bit and see if I could get him to say something particularly stupid. It took almost no prompting.

Me: Dude, we've talked about this. Unless you're looking to have Me pierce it or hurt it, we're not going to get along.

Him: I'm fine with that (really? Do come in. I'm running a castration special!)

Me: Then you know what, with all due respect, read a God damned ad before you reply to it. Said I wanted a polite respectful MESSAGE and that I wasn't interested in sex partners or personal BDSM partners outside of the adult industry or My social circles.
Him: Fuck you WHITE TRASH!!! Watch your back! Btw your blocked from this email (wow... texbook for projection, aren't ya?)
Me: Dude. It's not your race at all. Seriously. I'm not even fully white, I'm mixed. I'm just not looking to hook up with anyone. My ad pretty much says it: I'm looking to teach people or network with them because I work in S&M. For real. I got a man and he's the only one I fuck. Nothing against your race, it's just because you came off rude. I just said no to a whiteboy who also sent Me his cock shot with no message. (look at Me, I feel your plight, I misspelled "white boy" as a single word to relate to you! By the way... I am mixed, according to racial classification in the US)
Him: Fuck off! I have a man also! Wasn't even looking for sex! Good day
Me: Is that so? Let's start over then. (I'm fascinated by your strange culture of origin! I wish I lived in a place where a greeting was expressed by non-consensual flashing)
Him: For what? You already showed me your true colors? Even though I sent a dick picture I was looking for friends! Have a good one

So that was amazing. I thought I was in the Twilight Zone, and I ended up taking like... and hour to reply a single sentence, just because of how bewildered I was. Unfortunately, the rest of the conversation was him calling Me a faggot (what?) and Me being like "Buh?" No real glory there to post, I'm afraid. Just your average moron.

On a completely different note, I had a CBT and sounding session today that left Me with an interesting idea for a general post, which I'm going to toss onto FetLife as well (for those of you readers on FetLife, you know only My "proper" writings are up on there), so it's bound to be interesting...

Manners: They Count, or How to Cancel (repost 08/10/12)

As you already know from My first post, My Tumblr account was shut down just recently. I am trying to get it back up, but I have little faith in Tumblr, and so I quickly decided to repost all of the major articles and writings that I have a backup for right here on My BlogSpot, so that newcomers may read them if they choose to. 

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A few days ago, several boysluts lacked the balls to call to cancel their appointments with me, and have grossly wasted My time. How have I dealt with them? Simple: I have banned them from the dungeon and refuse their out-calls.

So why am I writing this? Simple. A boy made an appointment yesterday for a session this weekend. Earlier this evening, I received a message from him, profusely apologizing and telling me he was not going to be able to make it in to his session. I think he expected Me to chastise him for wasting My time.

I did not.

If anything, his dedication and politeness showed Me that he was genuine and that his apology was sincere. I thanked him for letting Me know in advance, and invited him to reschedule his session at his convenience.

As I said, I have no issue if you cancel your appointment with Me, as long as you do so in advance. Doing so shows sincerity and politeness.

One small detail: If you cancel your session with Me three times, I will ask you for a $50 non-refundable GreenDot deposit if you choose to rebook a fourth time. I can understand a single cancellation. Hell, even a second one. Things happen. But a third time makes me doubt your dedication and respect for My time.

My Ten Commandments (repost 07/09/12)

As you already know from My first post, My Tumblr account was shut down just recently. I am trying to get it back up, but I have little faith in Tumblr, and so I quickly decided to repost all of the major articles and writings that I have a backup for right here on My BlogSpot, so that newcomers may read them if they choose to.

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These are My Ten Commandments if you wish to come see Me. I had been toying around with the idea of writing My own list of rules and requirements for sessions so that everyone could see. Most are simple and common sense, but it seems that people are idiots. Failure to abide by these rules will result in the incursion of My wrath. Repeated transgressions will result in My throwing you out of the dungeon.

1. Honesty: You MUST tell the truth at all times, even if you can not or will not follow a direct order. Even if I will “never know that you are lying.” First of all, I will know. Second of all, trust can not be based on lies, and will never be fulfilling if it is. I am not a part of your outside world. I am part of your inner world, and I demand absolute honesty and truthfulness from you. What you say remains with Me.
2. Obedience: I am in charge and that means you must follow My orders. A servant’s heart means that My will is more important than your own and My pleasure comes before your own. Does it hurt? The answer is not important. Are you obeying Me? That is the question you should ask yourself.
3. Respect: I am Sir Brian. Never dude, man, bud, etc. Never fail to address Me properly before speaking to Me or at the beginning of a communication. My preferred form of address is “Sir,” and I reserve “Master” exclusively for those who train under Me, and then, it is still their choice whether to call Me “Sir” or “Master.” You will answer questions clearly, maintain proper posture, and ask permission to speak.
4. Gratitude: Always say thank you. If I punish you, thank Me. If I reward you, thank Me. If I speak to you, thank Me. You are thankful for everything that I give to you and everything that I take from you. Show it.
5. Control: If I see you more than once, we will establish rituals and individual rules for you. They may include what you can wear, how and when you contact Me, or even tasks outside of your time with Me.
6. Chastity: I am a professional Dominant, as well as a lifestyler. My lifestyle choices are My own. I prefer to keep My submissives in chastity during their time with Me, but I understand some things are limits for everyone. I still expect chastity from you. I will never “get you off” or tolerate your open sexual desire for Me. You are not to fantasize about Me, unless it be to realize what you will never be worthy to have.
7. Worship: To you, I am a god. That means I expect to be worshiped. How do you worship Me? You praise Me, you obey Me, you learn how to please Me, you follow and don’t try to lead, you communicate with Me, you tribute Me, you are humble, loyal, dedicated, and respectful.
8. Loyalty: I expect you to communicate fully openly with Me. Tell Me what is going on in your life, who you are meeting, and what you feel. Have no secrets. Do not hide things from Me you think I do not wish to hear. “Thou shall have no other gods before Me,” I think is the phrase I am looking for. And as such, I wish to know everything there is to know about you.
9. Attentiveness: Your attentiveness will show you are worthy. This spans a lot of things, from knowing this list of rules and be able to recite them, to knowing how I like My coffee (handed to Me… not I’m not joking, but for reference, I like it with 2-3 sugar substitutes and cream) to having proper spelling, grammar, and sentence if you communicate with Me through writing. Unintentional occasional mild spelling errors will likely be overlooked, but I won’t have written communication with someone who cannot string a sentence together, is functionally illiterate, gives one-word answers, or seems unable of having an intelligent thought process.
10. Release: If I am regularly training you, and you wish to be released, you will ask respectfully to be released. You will understand that as long as you are under My control, you give up your right to decide to just walk away. If I determine that the problem can not be sufficiently resolved, I will allow your release. However, a good faith effort will be required from you. A two-week “trial separation” period in which you are making the effort to stick it out must take place before it. During this time you must consider why you want to be released, and prepare Me a two-page writing telling Me these reasons. If at the end of two weeks, you are still certain, come in for a final session, hand Me your writing, and you will have your release.