Submissive's Bill of Rights

I would like to move away from the love letter to Myself that is this blog briefly to address a serious issue: consent

Too many times I hear horror stories of submissive men and women being subjected to nonconsensual abuse, simply because they believe that the adage "the Dominant is always right" is some kind of grandiose golden commandment of BDSM. A most recent story I heard involves a submissive boy being ordered to not speak in any capacity about his relationship with his Femdom to anyone else in the scene. When he protested, she answered simply that her word is law. I don't know about you, but that strikes up a major red flag for Me. Abuse often starts with the isolation of the victim. Needless to say, he is no longer in service to her, and I hope he has learned a valuable lesson.

I am going to say this yet again: the power behind BDSM lies in the fact that all activities are performed under consent. Anything else is abuse. If you truly believe that submissives have no rights, GO HOME. You lack the intellectual maturity to play this game.

A while ago, I stumbled across a document called "The boy's Bill of Rights." It perfectly encompassed what I felt about this issue, but it was very homo-centric. Contrary to popular belief, I rank between a 4 and 5 on the Kinsey scale (meaning that I am predominantly homosexual, but not exclusively so), and felt that these points could benefit from a tad bit of gender neutrality.

And so, here is My revised version, the submissive's Bill of Rights. Dominants are encouraged to post this to tell subs that They care about their rights, and subs are equally encouraged, to show others that they have no tolerance for abuse.

1. Every submissive has the right to have their body, intellect, and emotions protected by their Dominant.
2. Every submissive has the right to choose the Dominant whom they serve and to discontinue that service and take their leave without being subjected to physical, mental, or emotional abuse.
3. Every submissive has the right to be cared for, disciplined appropriately, and allowed to feel pride in their submission.
4. Every submissive has the right to protected sex if they so wish.
5. Every submissive has the right to privacy if they so wish.  No submissive can be blackmailed, publicly humiliated, or physically coerced into service without their expressed desire to be so.
6. Every submissive has the right to defend themselves from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse.
7. Every submissive has the right to consent or not to consent to sexual activities.
8. Every submissive has the right to seek refuge, counsel, and advice from other submissives and Dominants without the expectation of sex, money, or any other service in return.
9. Every submissive has the right to a physically and emotionally available circle of friends.
10. Every submissive has the right to protect their own possessions and finances against intercession, theft, and non-consensual acquisition.

Another review!

The heat has been awful, ne? I've been keeping cool and out of the sun by mercilessly beating a new arrival to kink and to My own inner circle, Stitch. He is quite fun, I must confess. Such masochism! Such range! It makes My sadistic little black heart smile. And he wrote Me a review:

Sir Brian is one of those rare people who brings His craft to the level of art. He is a professional in every sense of the word, from his spoken word to the deliberate manner in which He will set His implements on the table while you await the fate He has in store for you. Prior to meeting Sir Brian, I had only engaged in casual exploration of BDSM, but Sir Brian patiently and expertly introduced me to the many sensory experiences that were awaiting me in His world. He is true to His word: He will respect your limits and tolerances, while expertly pushing the boundary just far enough to make each experience unforgettable. In His skilled hands, you will feel dualities of emotion beyond what you thought possible: agony and ecstasy, pain and pleasure, fear and comfort,all enveloped in a euphoria that will overtake your body in new and unexpected ways. I hesitated for some time before initiating my first scene with Him, and it is those lost hours due to my own fear and vacillating that comprise my only regret.

Isn't that nice? Somebody earned themselves more savage beatings!

Event Recap and Upcoming Rope Class

What a wondrous week it all was. So here we demonstrate!

Asylum 13 saw Me hand over My suspension point to another rigger last Thursday. I had had a very busy day, one that also took a bit of a mental toll on Me, so I chose to not suspend people that evening, and chose to spend it with Katts, beautiful masochist and future star in one of My fetish films (I'd love a full-length with him). Pictures of said kink debauchery will be shown here when the photographers publish their next set of Asylum photos on Facebook. You should really be a fan of Asylum 13 of Facebook if you're not. That way, you could see all of them right when they come out!

I was less than pleased when First Friday turned to be an extremely rainy endeavor. I was however, overjoyed to see such a wonderful turnout of people braving the rain, as well as several volunteers. Thank you to Mistress Gwen Menace, and all who came to make this possible. Here's a very short video and a couple pictures:

Saturday night was The Aviary, and interestingly enough, I was not My usual swamped and scattered self. I had a great time with a newcomer to BDSM who had heard of Me and had come by to the event a couple of times before. I tied him up to the pillory and went to town... and I think even he will tell you it was quite a thrill.

Sunday was Philly Pride, and although I originally intended to march with the TNG group, My plans were disrupted by Kiddo and his partner, SF, who called Me an asked Me to come hang out with them. I must say, it was a most welcome distraction! Honestly, between hanging out with iCandy go-gos and playing with these two sexy maso-boys... well, I think the choice is simple.

I tied both of the boys together and has them use their strength to support each other through some sensory play and some corporal fun. It was very intense, particularly for Kiddo, and it lead to some great talk between them later during the day. See? I'm like therapy. Therapy that spreads your ass cheeks, flogs your back, and clamps your nipples.



I did make a brief stop in the Bike Stop for a drink on Sunday, but it was very brief. Last night, however, I went to meet a footslave early in the evening. We had a great chat. He bought Me a drink, and since I had been through a few busy days, I had him massage My feet in the middle of the bar. He did quite well. However, he did have to leave after a short while... but surprise surprise, I must be popular: he was quickly replaced by another boy who bought Me another drink, and quickly took over. This new boy however, showed a little less decorum, and found himself shirtless on the floor of the bar, one of My size 12W in his mouth, and the other in his hand. Hell, he was even sweet enough to lay back on the floor when I needed to get up, making a very effective trampling board.

Since he was a private fellow, I did not attempt to capture much on camera, but I got one pretty good picture of him rubbing one of My feet, while I teased him with the other. He was a handsome masochist, full of potential. His own life has led him a bit astray, but I hope his experience with Me last night will make him reconsider many of the choices he has taken, and will help him return to the place where he belongs, at a Dominant's feet. Yes, I'm totally expecting he is reading this, and will consider taking a new look at his life and where he wants to be. It's been missing for over 20 years, boy... don't you think it's time?

Finally, here is a VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT:

Did you miss the introductory rope class I taught in April? Then you can come and take the same class (with some minor tweaks here and there) this upcoming Sunday at the Kink Shoppe! You can purchase the tickets online, and even let us know if you're attending on Facebook or FetLife!

The class will be on Sunday, June 16th 2013, from the hours of 7 PM to 9 PM. Tickets are priced at $25 if you get them in advance ($20 for seniors/students with ID or $45 for couples), and $30 on the day of. However, a little birdie told Me that if you are signed up to the Kink Shoppe e-mail newsletter, you get $5 off either price!

Again, it is highly suggested that you bring some rope, ideally one 30ft length as well as two 15ft lengths. However, there will be some practice rope available, and the store will be stocked with their own supply if you want to buy some. Their prices are excellent, and any purchase made on the day of the workshop will get you 10% off when you show your ticket (one-time use).

Come support Me and learn the foundations that will lead you down the path of rope. I will also be hanging around until closing after the course, so it's a good chance to chat Me up!

I am also soon going to be creating the follow-up classes, for those who want to learn the next level. Thinking the second course will be called "The Ladder, the Harness, and the Dragonfly: Using What You Know." Because I like fancy verbiage.

Psst... coming to My beginner rope bondage class, this Friday? Then buy your tickets online!

A couple of posts ago, I mentioned I will be teaching a beginner workshop in rope bondage at the Sexploratorium this Friday, at 7 PM. As I said, tickets can be purchased in advance for $20, or on the day of for $30 (five dollars off for students and affiliates). 

I have been so busy preparing some material that I completely forgot to mention that you can also purchase your ticket online! 

This a great chance to pick up some rope basics and to chat Me up, so do come. All are welcome!

Happy 2013!

My goodness, what a crazy few days it has been. I shall recount briefly. But first, some pictures of a little of My personal time. These are here because I've been foraying into mixing My BDSM with photography. As most of you know, I love taking pictures of stuff, and am a fan of crazy effects. But every now and then, I get a really good picture. These are the ones I strive for. I like for moments to be commemorated with an epic image, and so I'm always trying. And I got a few right here.

First, a picture of the very awesome room I taught a waterboarding in a couple of days ago.

If you look closely, you can even see the handsome young soldier, strapped down to the table and awaiting torture. But I digress. I mostly wanted to squeal in delight at how awesome this photograph came out. Next up is another very cool shot I got from play with an awesome puppy, Wolfy.

I generally have been having My share of kinky fun! The year culminated in a few awesome points. I showed at a great kinky New Year's party with Wolfy as My guest. It was his first major BDSM event, and I agreed to take him to it and be a provisional handler for the evening. Now, as most of you know, I do not get into petplay at all. This is due to the fact that, coming into kink and BDSM from the gay community, there is an extreme sexualization of it that is very uncomfortable for Me. I can appreciate having a pet. But it it difficult for Me to enter a mindset of fully treating someone as a pet, while still appreciating the fact that they may be physically attractive. In short, I can't think "I have a hot dog!" You're either a dog, or you're hot. However, Wolfy approaches his inner pet from a completely psychological point of view, completely disregarding the aspects of it that make Me so uncomfortable. We have extremely similar viewpoints regarding sex and BDSM, and completely incompatible sexual dynamic while retaining good D/s, so I thought it would be a fantastic way to explore pet play. So we agreed to mild D/s, and attended the party together. We even got a couple of photos!

The formatting of this blogging service really is shit. Dammit. Anyway, face was blurred to protect his privacy, upon request.

Later on, I got into a performance with Leggatt which culminated in twelve needles holding twelve sparklers, surrounding the new year, which I carved with a knife. The little feather trio (also needled in) didn't remain in place exactly how I wanted it, but still looked bitching. 

Ladies and gentlemen, New Year's Eve, Sir Brian Style:

I wrapped 2012 up with a bang (or maybe a few minor stab wounds and some flames), and I am sure that 2013 holds lots of new surprises in store for Me! And it holds surprises for you, dear reader and visitor, including the opening of My Clips4Sale store, some YouTube videos, and an educational series I'm concepting at the moment. And as always, new photos!

I hope you all had a wonderful time as well, and I wish everyone out there a Happy New Year!

Halloween is here!

Halloween is on Wednesday, so all of the partying is being done this weekend. I went to a wonderful costume play party yesterday, and My fallen priest outfit was awesome (leather gloves not pictured):

I did a bit of practice play for Diabolique Ball 2012, where I will be a fallen priest again, and will be whipping the living bejeesus out of another priest for having disobeyed God Almighty. Yey for religious fetishism as performance art! I have to warm up My partner, Urdok, and get him used to the whip again over the next two weeks, as I will be whipping the very fabric of his clothes off his flesh. It should be fun. Here's the result of My good times last night:

I am quite proud of him, as almost no-one I know takes the whip, particularly Thain's very cruel snake whip (it really does have personality, Goddess). He did very well and we had a great time. :-) I can't wait for him to publicly atone for his sins in front of the entire Ball. And I love being the one to hold the... erm... whip of enlightenment and spiritual peace, if you will.

Besides the wonderful play, I got to see a bunch of friends and also ran into Mollena Williams and Lee Harrington. We had a short little chat, and it was all very pleasant. I was quite happy to meet Lee, as he wrote one of My first introductions to shibari, and was a great influence on how I began tying. You, Sir, rock hard!

I also wanted to congratulate the bride and groom on their nuptials! May your bond be as eternal as the ocean. :-)

Oh God, I can't wait until I have My own whip. I'd sleep with that thing. Speaking of that, I hope you do remember that My birthday is coming up and I always love presents. :-)

And by the way, I have recently received a pair of Rothco Deployment boots off My Wishlist, and have no idea who sent them to Me. Thank you! I really needed new shoes, so this was a perfect gift, visitor! I will be soon posting some hot boot pics for you to enjoy...

FetFest 2012 Photos!

So I've decided to not really post My full FetFest 2012 review and description. Quite frankly, I'm pissed that the only record of My writing was deleted with My Tumblr, and was full of juicy details and quite lengthy. I just don't feel like writing it again. Fuck Tumblr. I will do a brief highlights right now, and you'll have to fill in the blanks yourself.

I attended a myriad of classes by some of the best educators in the lifestyle. I am honored and humbled to have been able to hear some of these wonderful people speak, and I'd like to thank the entire staff and BLP for putting on such an amazing festival.

I was so happy to return to the fire. For those who do not know, I was turned into a human torch last year, and it was a magical transformatory experience for Me. The capable hands of fireplayers Phoenix and Barbara doused Me in fuel and My, how I shone. In fact, I have just received two pics from last year's human torch from wonderful photographer TwistedView, and I share them now with you.

It was so wondrous, I decided to return to it. Again, the fire overtook Me and gave Me peace, cleansing Me. An amazing experience.

My One and I brought some sexual diversity to the Saturday night orgy and I got a kick-ass blowjob in the middle of it all. It was wonderfully sexually freeing to be able to enjoy Myself in such fashion in the open air. Very refreshing!

At the Primal Arts trials, I underwent the trial of Water. Last year, the format was different, and the trial and sacrifice that had to be made to the tribe was by Fire, which is where I got My brand.

This year, I wanted to go through something else. My original desire was for the Air trial (a hook suspension) but I ended up deciding I wasn't feeling it. And so I went for the water trial... which was waterboarding.

Waterboarding was not as scary as I thought it would be, due to the fact that I felt "prepared" for it. Truth is, nothing can truly prepare you for it, but I have topped for waterboarding before (and love it), and have studied the subject from both anectodal and scientific bases. So I'd like to think I had a good grasp of the subject short of submitting to it. But in the end the panic just sets in and I safeworded out (or rather safegestured) in less than 30 seconds. And believe Me, that's agonizing when freezing cold water is running down your nostrils. So there was that, and it was intense. But it was important I get it done, as I hadn't bottomed for it before, and I only tend to to top with methods I've bottomed to. This was a hard one. I had a little drowning spell when I was 10, and refused to go through it again. So at least it's done, and My mind is clear. Hooray!

I had a great time watching the dancers at Lucky's Club, and even tried out a move or too. After a bit of boozing, I have come upon another grandiose decision. I have decided to lose some weight and get back into shape. And I will be stripping at Lucky's Club next year!

So there's the gist of it. I am so happy and grateful to have come in contact with so many wonderful people this year, and can't wait to do so again next year! Are you coming?

And now, without further ado, here are a couple of shots from this year's FetFest, where I happily returned to the fire, taken by the wonderful Stacie Joy.

So I hope you enjoyed this good fun with Me. Now I have to sleep, I have to teach French tomorrow and punish a naughty student...

My Ten Commandments (repost 07/09/12)

As you already know from My first post, My Tumblr account was shut down just recently. I am trying to get it back up, but I have little faith in Tumblr, and so I quickly decided to repost all of the major articles and writings that I have a backup for right here on My BlogSpot, so that newcomers may read them if they choose to.

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These are My Ten Commandments if you wish to come see Me. I had been toying around with the idea of writing My own list of rules and requirements for sessions so that everyone could see. Most are simple and common sense, but it seems that people are idiots. Failure to abide by these rules will result in the incursion of My wrath. Repeated transgressions will result in My throwing you out of the dungeon.

1. Honesty: You MUST tell the truth at all times, even if you can not or will not follow a direct order. Even if I will “never know that you are lying.” First of all, I will know. Second of all, trust can not be based on lies, and will never be fulfilling if it is. I am not a part of your outside world. I am part of your inner world, and I demand absolute honesty and truthfulness from you. What you say remains with Me.
2. Obedience: I am in charge and that means you must follow My orders. A servant’s heart means that My will is more important than your own and My pleasure comes before your own. Does it hurt? The answer is not important. Are you obeying Me? That is the question you should ask yourself.
3. Respect: I am Sir Brian. Never dude, man, bud, etc. Never fail to address Me properly before speaking to Me or at the beginning of a communication. My preferred form of address is “Sir,” and I reserve “Master” exclusively for those who train under Me, and then, it is still their choice whether to call Me “Sir” or “Master.” You will answer questions clearly, maintain proper posture, and ask permission to speak.
4. Gratitude: Always say thank you. If I punish you, thank Me. If I reward you, thank Me. If I speak to you, thank Me. You are thankful for everything that I give to you and everything that I take from you. Show it.
5. Control: If I see you more than once, we will establish rituals and individual rules for you. They may include what you can wear, how and when you contact Me, or even tasks outside of your time with Me.
6. Chastity: I am a professional Dominant, as well as a lifestyler. My lifestyle choices are My own. I prefer to keep My submissives in chastity during their time with Me, but I understand some things are limits for everyone. I still expect chastity from you. I will never “get you off” or tolerate your open sexual desire for Me. You are not to fantasize about Me, unless it be to realize what you will never be worthy to have.
7. Worship: To you, I am a god. That means I expect to be worshiped. How do you worship Me? You praise Me, you obey Me, you learn how to please Me, you follow and don’t try to lead, you communicate with Me, you tribute Me, you are humble, loyal, dedicated, and respectful.
8. Loyalty: I expect you to communicate fully openly with Me. Tell Me what is going on in your life, who you are meeting, and what you feel. Have no secrets. Do not hide things from Me you think I do not wish to hear. “Thou shall have no other gods before Me,” I think is the phrase I am looking for. And as such, I wish to know everything there is to know about you.
9. Attentiveness: Your attentiveness will show you are worthy. This spans a lot of things, from knowing this list of rules and be able to recite them, to knowing how I like My coffee (handed to Me… not I’m not joking, but for reference, I like it with 2-3 sugar substitutes and cream) to having proper spelling, grammar, and sentence if you communicate with Me through writing. Unintentional occasional mild spelling errors will likely be overlooked, but I won’t have written communication with someone who cannot string a sentence together, is functionally illiterate, gives one-word answers, or seems unable of having an intelligent thought process.
10. Release: If I am regularly training you, and you wish to be released, you will ask respectfully to be released. You will understand that as long as you are under My control, you give up your right to decide to just walk away. If I determine that the problem can not be sufficiently resolved, I will allow your release. However, a good faith effort will be required from you. A two-week “trial separation” period in which you are making the effort to stick it out must take place before it. During this time you must consider why you want to be released, and prepare Me a two-page writing telling Me these reasons. If at the end of two weeks, you are still certain, come in for a final session, hand Me your writing, and you will have your release.