I am Sir Brian, professional and lifestyle Dominant in Philadelphia, PA. Welcome to Wicket Wanderlust II, where you can find sessions stories, video previews, community information, and insight into the world of BDSM. This blog and connected site are 18+ only, kinky, LGBTQ-friendly, sex-positive and probably non-vegan. Experience service at BrianOfthelost.com
I would like to move away from the love letter to Myself that is this blog briefly to address a serious issue: consent
Too many times I hear horror stories of submissive men and women being subjected to nonconsensual abuse, simply because they believe that the adage "the Dominant is always right" is some kind of grandiose golden commandment of BDSM. A most recent story I heard involves a submissive boy being ordered to not speak in any capacity about his relationship with his Femdom to anyone else in the scene. When he protested, she answered simply that her word is law. I don't know about you, but that strikes up a major red flag for Me. Abuse often starts with the isolation of the victim. Needless to say, he is no longer in service to her, and I hope he has learned a valuable lesson.
I am going to say this yet again: the power behind BDSM lies in the fact that all activities are performed under consent. Anything else is abuse. If you truly believe that submissives have no rights, GO HOME. You lack the intellectual maturity to play this game.
A while ago, I stumbled across a document called "The boy's Bill of Rights." It perfectly encompassed what I felt about this issue, but it was very homo-centric. Contrary to popular belief, I rank between a 4 and 5 on the Kinsey scale (meaning that I am predominantly homosexual, but not exclusively so), and felt that these points could benefit from a tad bit of gender neutrality.
And so, here is My revised version, the submissive's Bill of Rights. Dominants are encouraged to post this to tell subs that They care about their rights, and subs are equally encouraged, to show others that they have no tolerance for abuse.
Every submissive has the right to have their body, intellect, and emotions protected by their Dominant.
Every submissive has the right to choose the Dominant whom they serve and to discontinue that service and take their leave without being subjected to physical, mental, or emotional abuse.
Every submissive has the right to be cared for, disciplined appropriately, and allowed to feel pride in their submission.
Every submissive has the right to protected sex if they so wish.
Every submissive has the right to privacy if they so wish. No submissive can be blackmailed, publicly humiliated, or physically coerced into service without their expressed desire to be so.
Every submissive has the right to defend themselves from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse.
Every submissive has the right to consent or not to consent to sexual activities.
Every submissive has the right to seek refuge, counsel, and advice from other submissives and Dominants without the expectation of sex, money, or any other service in return.
Every submissive has the right to a physically and emotionally available circle of friends.
Every submissive has the right to protect their own possessions and finances against intercession, theft, and non-consensual acquisition.
So the laptop is going through it's last few days. My One got a great deal on a brand new Acer, but it didn't agree with our install of Windows 8 (according to the interwebs, the issue was one of those one in an million deal, so of course the Universe wants Me to have the experience). Reverting back to Windows 7 terrified the poor piece of hardware, and it completely forgot it's wifi drivers. My One in the process of trying to get it back in working order, while the old computer threatens to bring down Armageddon upon our home. However, I am finally accessing a computer and doing all the things I have been neglecting.
I have done some major updating to My website and pages, adjusting and clarifying information. Hopefully, in a few days, I will be back on track with a computer that connects to the internet and doesn't trigger nuclear fallout. Meanwhile, here are some news, as well as some paragraphs addressing a lot of questions that I have received lately:
I recently had two wonderful evenings at The Bike Stop, Philadelphia's only gay leather bar. My first evening was an absolute delight, spent with a gentleman we will call Nast. Nast has been a good gentleman and friend, and he came down to Philadelphia from upstate New York for a temporary exhibit he missed back home. We has some very stimulating conversation, and as usual, when you leave Me too long with My toys, I got a bit publicly bondagy. For some reason, I don't think he minded... I know I didn't!
Then, just this Saturday, I stopped in for the Liberty Bears social and Excelsior NYC night. The place was packed, and I met a whole bunch of fascinating wonderful people. I also got to smack a couple of cute boys around, so I'm not complaining. :-) The evening was finished off at the Broad Street Diner with pup Wolfy and boy Josh, where we unexpectedly ran into MORE kinksters! I was pretty surprised. Kink is taking over Philadelphia!
I mention this because so many people have said they were never sure how to approach Me through phone or e-mail. This is one of the main reasons that I am out and about at so many events and places around town: it's a fantastic way to meet Me and ask Me any questions you may have. Pick My brain! As long as you are generally polite, I can always talk! In fact, let Me remind you of My regular public availability:
Every Thursday, I am at Asylum 13, Delaware's only kinky industrial night (quite frankly, I don't know of any other local kinky industrial nights, so it's pretty fucking special!). I am usually found in the middle of the dance floor, rigging up beautiful half-naked beauties through the air (the photo above is of Arwen, our gorgeous regular flyer!). Since this is My big rope night, I do not have vast amounts of social time or time to play, however, if you catch Me between flights, I always have a few minutes to talk. And you never know if I have time for... anything else, so give it a go! If you enjoy interesting haircuts, wild industrial and metal, and sexy kinky fun, this is definitely the place for you! And only twenty minutes from Philly, so definitely worth it! Mojo 13 is located at 1706 Philadelphia Pike in Wilmington, Delaware (19809), and the night goes from 9 PM to 1 AM, and it's some of the best drink specials in the area as well!
Every second Saturday of the month, I am at The Aviary, Philadelphia's best public BDSM play party! Once a month, kinksters take over the Arts Garage (1533 Ridge Ave, Philadelphia, PA 19130) for some ontological deconstruction. This is a relaxed and fun event, focused on socializing and playing as opposed to dancing and music. Both upstairs rooms are filled with kinky furniture to appease every fantasy! Come as you are or dress in your finest leather, The Aviary is extremely friendly, the chilled out atmosphere being perfect for the newcomer. The cover is $20 per person. I do work a short early shift as Dungeon Monitor and I do tend to run around quite a bit during this time, but as soon as I am done, I am ready to play (and usually have at least one brief scene)! Not sure if you'd like to see Me or just want to talk? Just approach Me!
Please remember that these are public social events, and as such, are not sex-positive. They are also not hook-up clubs full of loose-moraled people just waiting to spank you and fuck you. I have had no problem throwing out individuals from public events before, and I have no problem doing it again if I deem that you have come with nefarious intentions.
If you wish to reserve some time specifically for guaranteed public play with Me, I suggest you let Me know at least a few days in advance. You will be expected to attend the party and serve Me in a submissive capacity for the evening (fetch Me drinks, carry My supplies, give Me a massage should I need it, etc.). Serving Me is not a hard task, and if I am pleased with your service, I will reward you with a scene within your interests. A great way to get your feet wet!
I'd like to make note of something that happened at Asylum 13. I am known for My dry, barren humor and My very unfazed attitude. However, last Thursday, I was very impressed when a very good looking young man approached Me for a chat. Although he has a name he prefers, until he confirms it with Me, I shall call him Eru. As it turns out, we seemed to have similar interests on the sadist/masochist scale of things. We decided to maybe try a little play: I always like beating cute boys! Because I was rigging all night and (as I said before) had little time to play, we delayed everything to the very end of the night. My friends, the next 20 minutes I spend beating the living Hell out of his were positively magical. It is a rare thing when a masochist tires Me out or surprises Me. I don't consider Myself king of all Sadists, but I'm not a stranger to My partners hitting "Yellow," and quite frankly, I know most of My partners' limits. I was amazed to see that Eru did not seem to have many, when it came to pain. The picture you see to your right is his back after some 20 minutes of crop and dressage whip. And My arm was a little tired. A brave boy. I was proud of him, even though we had only met less than a couple of hours before. Good pain sluts do gain respect with Me. After our scene, we had a brief chat. As it turns out, Eru is an ex-kinkster trying to get back into the lifestyle, and also an ex-pornstar. And he's looking to return to erotic films from the kink point of view. We are in early stages of discussion, but be sure to keep an eye out! It seems Eru may be joining Me on some hot clips for My Clips4Sale studio (which I have been delaying the opening to for a while, I realize... get over yourself and wait)!
While on the subject, I'd like to remind all potential visitors and fans that I am constantly looking for new faces and hot new sessions for My budding media empire (videos, erotic photos, and artistic shots). If you find that My demanded tribute is steep, I do urge you to consider asking Me about participating in My videos. If you assist Me, I will happily lower or even waive My demands. Not model material but still want to play? Still finding it a struggle? I am not only looking for subs, you know! Do you have a sexy location I can use? Are you a photographer or videographer looking for some experience and a close up intimate look at BDSM? You can still serve a purpose! So contact Me, and I am sure we will find some mutually beneficial agreement...
I would also like to remind potential visitors that My tribute tends to drop if you do some of My shopping for Me. Collected tributes go to the upkeep of My wardrobe, the maintenance of My dungeon space, and the fresh stock of My toys and supplies. However, running around and setting apart the time for the items that I need is a boring and tedious task for Me, and I would rather be doing 10,000 other things. So how can you simplify My life, and in doing so enrich your own? Take a look at My Amazon Wishlist. On it are tons of items that I have My eye on. Surely, some of them are simply vanity things that would please Me greatly, but if you sort them by priority, you will find that there are some items that I need, stat. Getting some of those items for Me would please Me immensely, and would likely have Me look favorably upon you. The lucky sub who brings Me or sends Me both the COLT and the Trinity Vibes anal training sets (a total of six plugs) might not only be rewarded by getting to break them in, but will find that My demands for their tribute have been generously halved for their session! That seems to be a fine arrangement, don't you agree?
A note about third-party involvements during sessions: a few of the requests I receive may benefit involvement from a third, actively sexual party. Personally, I prefer My sessions to not be split that way, but it is sometimes the best way to go! I know a sissy fag cocksucker or two who are ready to graduate from practice cock to the real man-meat. They might have been champions at sucking and getting fucked by Big Red, one of the popular strap-ons of the Chamber a couple times. Should I feel satisfied that their bedside skill will not be an embarrassment (only the best behaved and diligent boys get the privilege of servicing My friends), I may consider putting them to the test. However, I'm sure that My horny friends have better to do than to get sucked off by an amateur, and I like to keep My perfect image. Impress Me in your training sessions, and I will think about it. Although third-party involvement is at My choice and discretion, and although My tribute stay the same if I do chose to test-run a submissive slut, I strongly suggest that you show your appreciation if it happens: Tipping is not a city in China. This is not as much for Myself as it is for My guests, who may have dropped in for a brief five minutes originally and ended up staying an hour, willing to give you a chance. Should one find you worthy of letting you near Him or Her, demonstrate that you value Their time like you do with Me. It will be noted (by both Them and I), and you may be rewarded.
Finally, I'd also like to remind visitors and fans that I am available for more than just one-on-one sessions. I also do enjoy sessions with sub/sub couples or friends. I also always find co-topping someone's lover with them to be extremely enjoyable. If I am not doing a session, I am also available to teach and train single and/or partnered individuals in the finer arts of BDSM, free of standard protocols. Since My tribute is mostly geared at compensating My valuable time and fine skills, it does not increase if I am playing with a couple (or even a trio, mmmh...). Finally, if neither a session nor training is what you seek, I am also an alt-sex consultant and advisor, and offer those services as well at excellent rates, again free of protocol. I, of course, will protect your confidentiality. Sometimes, you don't need to be bound in a sleepsack with a fucksaw raping your hole. Sometime... you just need a person to talk to.
Remember how pup Loki was distracting Me during My last post? He succeeded quite admirably: I completely forgot to mention that fellow blogger Boots LS (who I wrote about some time ago when I read a wonderful story about boot worship he authored) wrote a wonderful piece inspired by Me called Bastinado Bondage. It's sexy and delicious, and involves some of My favorite things: inverted suspension, falaqa punishment, and wax. You should definitely check it out and let him know you liked it!
On a completely different endnote, I scrapped the videos of Asylum 13 that I was going to upload independently, and chose to put several of My suspensions together in a single video... since I get new footage every week, I may keep doing it this way to avoid overcrowding My channel. So here is the first video of multiple suspension. You know how you could see this live, right? That's right, attend Asylum 13, which I mentioned earlier in this article.
Thanks for sticking all the way through this beast of a ridiculously long post. As I said, wanted to get a lot out there. See how much I care?
No, this is not My Christmas post yet. But it was awesome and I wanted to share. This was in response to one of My ads, not in any type of chat. Too good.
Him: Hey
Me: Congratulations. Three letters. Quite an achievement when I asked for a detailed introductory message. Would you like to try again?
Him: my fetish is feet send me a pic of yours
Me: I don't give a flying fuck what your fetish is unless you can come up with a respectful introduction, something I asked for.
I have size 12 feet, and pics are available online if one knows where to look. I don't have to send you anything or do anything if I don't feel like it, especially if I find you to be rude, which I do. Again, try being polite, something I ask for in My ad, and you'll find Me much more accommodating.
Regards,
-Sir Brian
Him: fuck you, fish boy
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I have no idea what just happened there.
NOTE: I am suffering from extreme Top drop after a very intense scene last night, so please take this with a grain of salt. I've been displeased for some days, and quite frankly have been stewing with these thoughts.
Honestly, I'll not be getting to that article I was going to write. I don't care to.
I was just betrayed by someone I considered a good friend. One of My best, in fact. Because I have to be in a semi-work environment with her already, I am unhappy.
I pride Myself in not talking shit about people. If I have a problem with you, I'll tell you before I tell others (yes, I still will probably tell others, but I'll always let you know first that I don't like you). I behave with such cold and calculating logic, and it's always served Me well.
The reason I do this is because I have an incredible hate for sophomoric behavior. I did not like high school then, and I do not like high school now. When people around Me start behaving like they are in high school, I am so completely disgusted that I actually get physically ill.
I am sick of busting My ass and being unappreciated (haha, look at Me blogging about My issues like a high-schooler, IRONY!). Over the past year back in Philadelphia from London, I have met a ridiculous amount of people.
Quite frankly, I don't like most of you. Not all of you, but a good bit of you.
I feel constantly that I am surrounded by a whole bunch of needy children, who really do not give a fuck about My well-being either way, as long as they can get what they want from Me. From leads which I bust My ass getting, to personal friends who are only interested in My opinion or thoughts when they can get a play-date out of Me, to colorful weekly hate mail (mind you, I only post the stellar ones here). I'm constantly running around and doing things, and as fabulous as My life seems, I bust My ass. For nothing.
A call from a recent friend made it clear: I'm trying to be in too many places at once, with too many people who need Me. I need to revise who I consider My friends, and who I consider useless in My life.
I'm sick of having to "play the game." I'm sick of having to smile through gritted teeth at community leaders who have sexually abused some of My friends. I'm sick of boys who are so sexually frustrated that they don't see Me as anything else but a piece of meat, and of girls who think I'm going to whisk them away from their humdrum vanilla lives like some Disney prince.
Respect. It's not that complicated. I ask for respect for My time and respect for My person. It's one of My Ten Commandments. It shouldn't be so difficult. But of course, people are too concerned about themselves these days. Can't be bothered to utter a single politeness.
I've already cut several public events and parties out of My schedule. It used to be that I would show up because I wanted to relax and hang with friends. Nowadays, a lot of these events are Me running like a chicken without it's head, making plans and play dates, and trying to please everyone. At the end of the night, I have no actual fun, and whatever I've done doesn't guarantee a visitor to My dungeon. Yet like an idiot, I return, to keep this completely fictional idea of an "image" up.
I first got involved in fetish in BDSM because it all seemed so revolutionary and life-giving to Me. Imagine! Surrounded by people who were unashamed of their desires, and open about them. A world where the limits could be set where I wanted them to be set, where each play date was a complex neurochemical exchange that could only be called "magical."
No-one told Me that it was also a community of backstabbing gossip queens. "Did you hear what so-and-so did at such-and-such?" No-one told Me there were people that were "preferred" or whose opinions "mattered more" because of their position. Hell, I always thought people should be judged on their own merits, not by their ridiculous accomplishments or social circles. How incredibly silly of Me.
I play by the book. When it comes to actual BDSM interactions, I use basic science and research to back Myself up so I don't fuck up, or fuck My partners up. Sure, it's not always perfect and failsafe, but I try. I'm still just human. I try to always help out newcomers and as long as the basic rules of interaction that I set are followed, will go quite far for them. I've never been accused of consent violations (though I have been accused of "assholism" once or twice). I try to defend those that show promise, and deflect those that would damage others.
It seems like all of this would be enough. Not in the scene. Here, it's all about "oh, well who do you know? How long have you been doing this?" Newsflash, folks: this used to be a way for kinksters to be able to vet one another and keep each other safe. This wasn't a social model to follow. Because I can name players who have been in the local scene for over 25 years who have had major consent violations, bordering on sexual assault. Actually, wait, no... when you stick something of yours into someone's holes after they said "no," that's not bordering on anything. That's rape. So I know a rapist or five.
Expose them? I tried. Results? "Oh no! I know so-and-so! He could have never done that, because I played with him once at a public party five years ago! Oh, and he wrote all these books/articles/Writings! You must be mistaken. It's OK. You're more of a newcomer, you don't know better."
Really? How long you've been doing this is completely irrelevant if you started off with erroneous knowledge. Being a 25-year veteran of the flogger means nothing if you take advantage of your submissives' gifts.
To return to what the "issue" I recently went through was, apparently, a very good friend of mine has had a poison whispering to her, and has accused Me of that exact behavior. The exchange. paraphrased, went like this:
Me: Something happened. I'm telling you because I want you to be safe. Her: Oh, who pissed in who's cereal now? Me: Like I'd give a shit. It's not about a feud, it's about abuse of power. Her: Of course it is. You need to stop talking shit, because one of my friends who's really high up in the scene said you were saying things about me. So watch who you talk to, I don't need two-faced backstabbers in my life. Me: Buh?
I still have no idea what exactly I supposedly said, and have not been given a chance to confront My accuser. I will gladly admit to any wrongdoing and any shit-talking, as I do have a big mouth, but I can't for the life of Me even think of what I could have said. I never take parts in feuds. I never have, and I never will. I will listen to both sides of the argument, and advise if it is needed, but I am a God-damned beacon of neutrality. For fuck's sake, I have recommended clients to My competition, at times. I am glad, however, that My friend decided to listen to someone else's opinion of Me, instead of confronting Me directly with an accusation. But I guess it's OK. They're "high up in the scene." Am I the only one who sees how amazingly retarded that statement is?
(If you have a problem with the fact that I used the expression "retarded," grow up. Social standing isn't determined by how politically correct I can be either)
I just needed a bit of space to vent. Currently, I am being much stricter and more reserved on FetLife, as well as with the conversations I choose to partake in, online and in real-life. I am limiting My play to the dungeon, and only to My closest partners. Those who wish to find Me can do so relatively with ease. But I'm no longer putting out the effort. You fucked it up for yourselves.
An interesting sidenote, while discussing things with kinksters I've known around the globe, this problem of catty, gossipy behavior and backstabbing is not spread scene-wide. It seems to have a particular penchant for some scenes, Philadelphia being one of them. I defended this place back when someone from the West Coast said that we were a joke big enough that even other cities had noticed.
This was almost too good. I want to frame this one. It's a pity My previous blog was shut down with no ability to regain most of My previous posts (FUCK YOU, TUMBLR!). Because this has to be one of the crowning achievements of advertising response, and I wish it could join the ranks with the rest of them. However, this is the first "Rude Email" series post I do, so I'm actually also quite happy it's this excellent.
I post ads everywhere. In all of My ads, I specify that I'm looking for visitors to My dungeons or people to teach. I also specify no organic sexual contact, usually three times in My ad, to be sure there is no confusion. My ad is clear, concise about what I expect (an attempt at proper writing, a polite approach, and... oh yeah, no sex). Those who fail epically get quickly shut down and posted here to have an example made out of them. Be warned. Welcome to the Rude E-mail series.
Cue this guy. As usual, My personal thoughts are in parentheses and italicized.
All I receive is a huge big black cock shot. No name, no siggy, no message. Just a cock. A big, black one. Of course, this is a POV shot, because I'm sure he's quite lonely from the lack of human communication, so he likely cannot find someone to take the picture for him.
Fun fact: this is the second time he's sent a message, and the second time I turned him down. This time, I decided to push it a little bit and see if I could get him to say something particularly stupid. It took almost no prompting.
Me: Dude, we've talked about this. Unless you're looking to have Me pierce it or hurt it, we're not going to get along.
Him: I'm fine with that (really? Do come in. I'm running a castration special!)
Me: Then you know what, with all due respect, read a God damned ad before you reply to it. Said I wanted a polite respectful MESSAGE and that I wasn't interested in sex partners or personal BDSM partners outside of the adult industry or My social circles. Him: Fuck you WHITE TRASH!!! Watch your back! Btw your blocked from this email (wow... texbook for projection, aren't ya?) Me: Dude. It's not your race at all. Seriously. I'm not even fully white, I'm mixed. I'm just not looking to hook up with anyone. My ad pretty much says it: I'm looking to teach people or network with them because I work in S&M. For real. I got a man and he's the only one I fuck. Nothing against your race, it's just because you came off rude. I just said no to a whiteboy who also sent Me his cock shot with no message. (look at Me, I feel your plight, I misspelled "white boy" as a single word to relate to you! By the way... I am mixed, according to racial classification in the US) Him: Fuck off! I have a man also! Wasn't even looking for sex! Good day Me: Is that so? Let's start over then. (I'm fascinated by your strange culture of origin! I wish I lived in a place where a greeting was expressed by non-consensual flashing) Him: For what? You already showed me your true colors? Even though I sent a dick picture I was looking for friends! Have a good one
So that was amazing. I thought I was in the Twilight Zone, and I ended up taking like... and hour to reply a single sentence, just because of how bewildered I was. Unfortunately, the rest of the conversation was him calling Me a faggot (what?) and Me being like "Buh?" No real glory there to post, I'm afraid. Just your average moron.
On a completely different note, I had a CBT and sounding session today that left Me with an interesting idea for a general post, which I'm going to toss onto FetLife as well (for those of you readers on FetLife, you know only My "proper" writings are up on there), so it's bound to be interesting...
This weekend was Philadelphia Leather Pride Weekend as well as The Aviary. Although I did not go to the main PLPN event, I did attend Kinky Karnival at the Bike Stop on Friday. I showed up at the bar with My toy bag and asked a couple of Philadelphians MC members if I could demo some stuff. Apparently, two of their performers had last minute cancelled, so they were quite happy to let Me have a massage table station all to Myself.
Christ, that was like a kinky assembly line (or as a friend recently put it, BDSM meets Henry Ford). I spent most of the evening spanking hot asses of all shapes, colors, and genders, and dripping hot wax on naked bodies. God knows, I was dead tired by the end. Must have topped 10 to 15 people. But I met a whole bunch of ladies and gents, handed out some cards, and had an all-out wondrous time!
IF YOU WERE AT THE KINKY KARNIVAL AND WERE ONE OF THE GENTLEMEN WHO TOOK PICTURES OF ME, PLEASE E-MAIL THEM TO ME AT YOUR CONVENIENCE. I HAVE NO SHOTS FROM THAT NIGHT.
Of course, though, there is no rest for the wicked, so I got home quite late and ended up only getting a little bit of sleep, as I had to clean all of My toys for last night's Aviary. I had a lot planned for My birthday Aviary, so I split My dungeon monitoring shift into two, so I could get what I wanted to do in.
I was so happy not to be rushed.the way I usually am at some events. I got a chance to do more relaxed scenes that I wanted to do, and it was so fun! I played with My favorite masochist, Leggatt (who will be joining Me at next week's Diabolique Ball as My supplicant), and did a wonderful ribbon corset on his (manly) chest. Take a look at all this sexiness:
I quite enjoy needle play at public events, because it gives Me a chance to sit and talk to My subject face to face, while doing what I consider to be sensuous bodywork. I find it to be intensely personal, reminding Me of a sounding or a bare-handed spanking.
Anyway. After that, I got a chance to tie two ladies together in an intense bondage-hug and whip their bare backs simultaneously. They yelps and moans coming from both of them as they supported each other through the ordeal was extremely sexy, and got a couple of onlookers. The singletail is by far My favorite corporal punishment weapon. I'm really hoping to save it to eventually have My own Victor Tella.
Later on, I got to spank a lovely Francophone ass. Speaking My birth language again was quite a surprise, and I really enjoyed Myself, as demonstrated by this vry srs picture:
See? Being Domly is SRS BSNS! Tee hee. My evening ended with a coffee long conversation about life, the Universe, and everything with a lovely newcomer lady. T'was a good time!
See? I do get busy at public events and have My fun. I'd like to take a moment before finishing up this post to say a thing or two about the subject: I'm not that much of a hard-ass. If you approach Me respectfully through e-mail, call, or even a public, event, I will gladly speak to you and even maybe play with you if you have spare time. However, if you rudely call Me, leave Me sloppy messages through e-mail or phone, and then expect that you're going to get Me to develop ANY interest in you, you are sadly mistaken. As a warning, I will actually post up two of My most recent conversations to demonstrate this. My thoughts are in parentheses and italicized.
For this first gentleman, it was on MeetMe, a ridiculous clone of MySpace which I will NOT be linking to, because I hate them. The only reason I even have an account there is because it allows for localized friendships, and I can add about 20 people within 50 miles of Myself every day. Besides that, it's not really a site I use at all, mainly due to the general IQ of 70 that permeates the whole place. Mind you, I express My displeasure very clearly about the site, so most people contacting Me have heard Me bitch about how people interact online.
Rudy McDouchestein: Hi Me: (*blinksblink* You're nineteen and living at home in Ontario. Why are you talking to Me? Ahhh... perhaps you have a relevant question... I'll play along...) Hello. Rudy McDouchestein: Sup hottie :) Me: (Strike one! But I'll disregard because you probably don't know better, even though the tone of My response and MY FUCKING PROFILE are a clue...) I'm doing pretty well, yourself? Rudy McDouchestein: I am good :) (Your conversation's fascinating, please go on. I am riveted and may throw Myself at you at any moment!) Rudy McDouchestein: Hot chest babe Me: Wow. See, I let "hottie" go because I thought it a slip-up. But I'm glad you've made no effort to actually read My profile, which links you to My website, which links you to the following sentence:
Respect: I am Sir Brian. Never dude, man, bud, etc. Never fail to address Me properly before speaking to Me or at the beginning of a communication. My preferred form of address is “Sir” or "Boss."
Granted, that's to the people who come to see Me under My protocol. HOWEVER. EVEN if that protocol doesn't apply to you, "babe" is rude in the normal world to say to a stranger as well. I always say that if you wouldn't say it to Me while meeting Me out at an event, don't approach Me with it online. If you still think it's OK, perhaps you just attend unsavory events.
I'm really not this much of a cunt if you're polite.
Good day,
-Sir Brian
Clearly, I didn't get a response. In fact, I think he ran away from Me pissing himself. Was I unfair? I don't think so. If you don't approach Me politely, then I'm not interested in talking. Last I checked, animals don't talk, so if you behave like one, I will treat you like one.
My second message was actually through text after a failed phone connection. It went a little something like this... I decided to forgo the parentheticals, as it's pretty clearly not in need of any explanation:
Me: Hello. Unrealistic Painpig: Hello Me: Who is this? Unrealistic Painpig: Knife play? Me: Uh.... yes? Unrealistic Painpig: Can you make really deep cuts on my dick? Me: Not too deep. Not looking to make a problem either. May I suggest needle play if it's intense CBT you like. And you might want to work on manners. Next time I ask you a question, you answer. [ten minute pause] Finishing a conversation or an inquiry is something else that you need to look into. Unrealistic Painpig: Tnx Me: So who are you? Unrealistic Painpig: I am an angel Me: Are ya now? Unrealistic Painpig: Yes Me: Uh-huh. An angel into CBT? Unrealistic Painpig: Knife play. Me: I see. But you want marks. Unrealistic Painpig: What? Me: Knife marks. Cuts. Unrealistic Painpig: Very deep cuts. Yes or no? Bitch. Me: Uh, not if I can't establish your psychological state. So if you want this, you should work on answering Me properly. If you can't amp up your fucking manners as well as learn to talk rationally, I'm going to assume you don't actually know what you want and can't consent. Good day.
Do I really ask that much? I sometimes wonder if I do. Hmmmm. Perhaps a lobotomy is in order. Blah. Anyway. Remember that Diabolique Ball 2012 is next Saturday, and I will be Dungeon Monitor at the beginning of the night, as well as performing at the end of the night with the studly Leggatt. Come see him get whipped to enlightenment. After all, pain and suffering is a path to God, or so think the Catholics.
Ooooooh! Also! I will be briefly in NYC on Wednesday, November 14th. Yes, that's next Wednesday. I was originally taking the day to Myself, but have decided to accept session requests. If you wish for a session, you can e-mail Me before Wednesday and see if I have time for you.
Recently, an Australian fan, bull minion (@bullminion on Twitter) has recently hit 2000 tweets. I initiated the conversation that lead to that 2000th tweet, and so I encouraged him to do something special for Me... and so he did.
By the way, you can see the original tweet here. Isn't that sweet? I always appreciate nice gestures, and let it be known that I do.
I'm so tired of butthurt queerboys who send Me hate mail when I tell them I'm not interested in playing with them. Seriously. I denied a really rude boy the medical scene he wanted (not only was he a complete boob, but he didn't read My info and interests), and all of a sudden, I'm a delusional fake, who has no BDSM skills, and don't exist in the public lifestyle.
Mind you, I get this hate mail the day after Aviary, one of the local play parties in the area. You know, the one where I suspend people, beat them with a sjambok, pierce them with a medkit, and generally get dangerously deviant with.
Yep.
Same party I went to last night, the one that on My way to, two boys on the subway came up to Me, said they saw My local advertisements, and wondered if I would take a picture with them.
So, delusional? No.
Unskilled? No.
Not a lifestyler? No.
Unknown locally? No.
If I deny you play, I probably have a good reason. If you inquire for a session, and then tell Me you're not going to tribute Me, I'm not going to magically stop everything to play with you just because you're hot. That's why I have personal play partners, and trust Me, they are much better looking than you, and their skill makes Me way hotter than your could ever hope to.
As you already know from My first post, My Tumblr account was shut down just recently. I am trying to get it back up, but I have little faith in Tumblr, and so I quickly decided to repost all of the major articles and writings that I have a backup for right here on My BlogSpot, so that newcomers may read them if they choose to.
During My journey, I’ve met several types of people, and each has their own protocol and manner. Being pretty laid back (am I?), I am not extremely strict on how protocol is performed. However, there is one detail I like to emphasize.
I’ve already mentioned in My Ten Commandments that My preferred form of address is “Sir,” as opposed to “Master.” I wanted to clarify a bit on that, and why I have that requirement.
As defined by a dictionary, the first five definitions of the word are as follows:
a person with the ability or power to use, control, or dispose of something
an owner of a slave, animal, etc.
an employer of workers or servants.
the male head of a household.
a person eminently skilled in something, as an occupation,art, or science
I am going out on a limb, but I assume most people who desire to call Me “Master” wish to do so out of respect inspired from Definition 1. However, I interpret “Master” as being defined almost exclusively by Definition 5.
I believe that anyone My age who calls themselves “eminently skilled” might be cause for concern. In My eyes, “Master” means that there is little more to learn. It means that I consider Myself above others automatically. Now, I believe very strongly in My skills. But I am humbled by the people who I meet who are much more experienced than Myself. I call them “Master” or “Mistress,” because in My eyes, their skills are worthy of such a title. I feel that every day is a step forward in learning and growth. Therefore, as a rule, I don’t tend to like being called “Master” Myself, unless I am being addressed by someone regularly training under Me.
I am partial to “Sir” and “Boss,” depending on My mood. Both of them define respect, as opposed to superiority. And I love respect.
As you already know from My first post, My Tumblr account was shut down just recently. I am trying to get it back up, but I have little faith in Tumblr, and so I quickly decided to repost all of the major articles and writings that I have a backup for right here on My BlogSpot, so that newcomers may read them if they choose to.
Me: Hello?
Caller: Hi, I was wondering if I could speak to Sir Brian, please?
Me: This is He.
Caller: I just saw your name in the paper, and I was just wondering if I could stick this big dick in your mouth?
Me: Oh, I'm sorry, did you miss the part in the paper that said "no sex."
Caller: Oh? Oh! I think I did.
Me: That's alright. I appreciate the time you took to call Me, but I don't offer any kind of organic sexual service, just straight up BDSM and kink.
Caller: Oh, I'm sorry. I just woke up with a stiffy and the CityPaper, and you know...
Me: No, I understand. But I do like readers.
Caller: Alright then, sorry about that. Guess I'll let you go.
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